Post by Prof. Zam on May 12, 2010 10:43:45 GMT -5
The Origins of the Hands of Creation and Destruction.
“There! I’m finally done! A new world existing of only video game characters!” says a mysterious ominous looking figure. “Yes sir! Very fine! A very fine world indeed sir!” A hunchbacked fellow in his mid-30’s or so says this to the mysterious man. “But, what if they rebel sir?” “Don’t worry E-Gore, they won’t. Besides, even if they did, my right hand will stop them. GO!” He throws his right hand into the swirling black and blue vortex onto a small arena-like platform. “Make sure that if any rebel, that you stop them in their tracks once they reach you! Be careful though, Master Hand, you may create other beings to mimic them if need be, but do not under-estimate them! Especially not that fat red plumber! His little brother you can easily deal with, but be careful of Mario! Now, go, fulfill your destiny!” Master Hand makes an “A-OK” sign with his fingers, and heads off into the vortex, leaving behind him a trail of blue sparkling particles. “But sir, what if Mario rebels along with everyone else?” “That won’t happen. I’ve made sure of it. I put them each into different worlds, only Mario and Luigi are living in the same area. They are our only true threat.” “Very perspective, sir! Very good!” “I know E-Gore, I know.” He begins to laugh evilly. E-Gore looks cautiously at his master’s left hand and only hand left. “Uh, sir? What about him?” He points to his left hand. “Oh yeah! I almost forgot all about him! Crazy Hand, destroy everything that Master Hand creates and forgets about. That way, he won’t get too powerful and overthrow me. GO! And follow him! But make sure not to be spotted!” He throws his left hand into the swirling vortex, and like Master Hand, he too, goes away. However his trail is of black and red, and he seems to twitch quite frequently. “E-Gore!!!” “Yes sir?” E-Gore creeps closer to his master. “Yes master?” “Make sure that they don’t get too out of control. Watch over them, and report to me periodically. If you need something, there’s food and soda in the fridge. Oh! Also, there are emergency numbers next to the phone. The number in green is my number.” “What do you mean sir?” E-Gore looked over to his master. “I mean, I’m leaving. I’m going away. I’m taking a vacation. I’m hitting the road.” “What do you mean, master?” “I mean, watch over them for me while I replenish my energy!” “Aye-aye sir!” E-Gore salutes his master while saying this. His master then leaves in a dark light. A black light envelopes the mysterious man, and within moments, he is gone. “I’ve always wondered how he does that. It’s pretty damn cool! Now, on to watching the carnage unfold.” E-Gore turns to the portal which now shows a toy box. He watches as Master Hand hovers past all of these places, placing polygons that resemble the soon-to-be warriors of the Toybox, and they hide and watch over the warriors to be. Crazy Hand, following Master Hand, destroys some of these polygons when they seemed too numerous to C.H. He simply laughs maniacally and follows behind M.H. “This is going along quite nicely. Master Seisho, you will come to admire your hands more than you do now; treating them like crap on a daily basis. You will come to love them. Even if it means I have to take matters into my own hands and create my own havoc for Master Hand to stop! I will unleash Mario! He will fight his way to stop the hands, and in doing so, will reach Master Hand, fight him, be defeated, and Master will be so pleased with M.H.! I must do it.”
“Hey Luigi! What’s happening?”
“Hang on a moment! The question is about to be asked.”
A few long moments pass by and…
“It says ‘What is the name of the princess that people sometimes mistake for a tanned Princess Peach?’ Isn’t it obvious?”
“Yeah, it’s Daisy isn’t it?”
“Yeah. It is. Oh hang on! He’s guessing now!”
“Hey how many lifelines does he have left?”
“He’s still got phone a friend left but that’s it. He’s made it this far, he’s only got two questions left after this. I think he’s gonna make it! The first Toad to win a million dollars on a game show! This is so exciting!”
Luigi’s attention now returns to the TV.
“Is that your final answer?”
“Y-yes. Final answer.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m sure.”
Ba-da-dummmmm…
“I’m sorry Ted, but that’s incorrect.”
Crowd “awwwsss” in dispair.
“Well then, what was the right answer?”
“It was-“
“Luigi, what happened? I don’t hear the TV anymore.”
“I paused it. You have got to see this. His Final answer is hilarious!”
The water turns off, followed by the radio that was playing in the restroom. “I’m coming! Don’t play it yet!”
“Don’t worry bro. I won’t.”
Mario comes running out of the bathroom, panting, and says “What is it?”
“Check this out man, check out what he guessed.”
Luigi then rewinds the DVR and hits play when the question is first said.
“Ok Ted, your eighth question. Two more after this one, and you win 1,000,000 dollars!”
“I know I know I know! I don’t need any more pressure thank you!”
“Alright. Your next question: ‘What is the name of the Princess that people often mistake for a tanned Princess Peach?’ Is it: A-Princess Plum; B-Princess Rosalina; C-Princess Daisy; D-Mario?”
“That’s a hard one. Uhh… Is it…D?”
“Is that your final answer?”
“Y-yes it is.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am sure.”
Luigi pauses the show. Mario stares at the TV in disbelief. “Did he just say-that I look like a tanned Peach?!”
“Yeah, he did! Can you believe it?!” Luigi starts to roll around the floor laughing hard.
“It’s not funny Luigi… It’s not that funny.”
“ARE YOU KIDDING?! It’s hilarious!” He continues to roll around bursting into tears.
Mario watches Luigi rolling aroud on the floor. He says nothing.
“What’s the matter Mario-oh, I mean, Daisy?” Luigi laughs even harder and starts to gasp for air.
“I hope you choke on your own laughter Luigi. If you need me, I’ll be in our room.” Mario then storms up the stairs towards their rooms.
“Hey, Daisy, are you going to powder your nose and put on your make-up now?”
Mario slams the room door, hearing Luigi start hacking and coughing. “Dang bastard. Always crackin jokes at other people’s expense. I hope he gets a taste of his own medicine soon.”
Then, suddenly, there is a loud thump on the roof. Only Mario seems to have heard it.
“Hey Luigi? Was that you?”
“Was what me?”
“That loud thump. I heard a really loud thump like sound on the roof.”
“Then how could it had been me? I’m in the living room!”
Mario begins to respond, but then, the thump happens again but even louder. :OK seriously! How are you not hearing that!”
“I heard it just now! What the Hell was that?!”
“I’ll go check it out. You wait here.”
“NO WAY MAN! YOU ALWAYS CHECK IT OUT! This time I’M checking it out!”
Mario stares at his little brother in shock. “What? Really?”
“Yeah. You stay here.”
Luigi leaves and leaves Mario’s jaw still on the floor, and runs back inside almost immediately after going out.
“Mario! You have got to see this!”
Mario rushes out, wondering what it could be. Was Bowser attacking his house? Was Peach there? Was it Rosalina butt-naked on their lawn pretending to be a dog? Whatever it was, he just HAD to see.
Mario stands next to Luigi who is looking up into the sky, pointing in fear, unmoving, resembling Hammy the Squirrel, going “Scary Hand”. Mario looks up where Luigi is pointing, and notices a White Glove just flying by, dropping human-shaped purple things.
“Luigi, what do you think thoses things are?”
“Scary Hand…”
“Hey Luigi, you alright?”
“Scary Hand…”
Mario moves in front of Luigi who looks down at him and says “Scary Naked Man!” Mario looks down, and finally realizes that he forgot to put on his towel when he got out of the shower. “Oops…”
“That’s not the scariest thing. Mario, look behind you.”
“Yes Luigi, I know I’m naked, now stop it ok-“
“NO! REALLY! Look right behind you!”
Mario turns, and sees the purple things, twist and turning into the shape of him! “What the Hell?!” There are two of them. One is taller than the other one, while the first one is fatter than the second one.
“Uh…Mario? I think they are us…”
“Don’t be ridiculous Luigi. They can’t be us, because we are us. Now how would that be-“
Before he can even finish his sentence, his right arm gets burned by a green fireball.
“WHAT?!”
“I told you! They’re us! How else would he be able to use a green fireball?!”
“Good point. How is that-“
boink!
“Ow! Stop that!”
“Mario, I don’t think they are going to stop.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Turn around.”
Mario turns, and goes flying back towards Luigi. Before he does, he only saw a purple fist right in front of his face.
“Luigi.”
“Yeah?”
“Get ready to fight!”
Mario gets up and poses, ready to fight, but notices that Luigi is already beaten his double.
“Hey, Mario, they are really easy to defeat!”
“What? Seriously?”
“Yeah! Watch this!”
Luigi punches Mario’s double who flies into a wall of their house. It falls down, rubbing it’s head.
“Luigi! Dibs!”
Mario runs over to the double, and vertically headbutts it. It goes flying up so high, that it becomes a star, and twinkles.
“Wow. They are easy to beat.”
“I told you s-“
“GAME SET!”
Mario and Luigi look around, wondering where the voice came from.
“Who said that?! Show yourself!”
“YOU CAN SIMPLY CALL ME GAMER! I AM YOUR FOLLOWER, IN A WAY.”
“Oooo-kaaayyyyy…Did you follow any of that Luigi?”
“Yeah. He’s gonna follow us as we go on an adventure to save the Mushroom Kingdom.”
“NOT ONLY THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM, BUT THE ENTIRE TOYBOX YOU LIVE IN!”
“Wait, the what?”
“Did he just say ‘Toybox’?”
“YES I DID. THAT’S WHERE YOU ARE AT NOW! YOU SEE, YOU ARE JUST AN EXACT COPY OF THE REAL MARIO AND LUIGI. EVERYONE YOU WILL MEET, WILL JOIN YOUR TEAM WHEN YOU BEAT THEM. FOX, PEACH, KIRBY, AND EVEN-“
“Wait, did you just say Peach?”
“YEAH, EVERYBODY FROM JIGGLYPUFF TO BOWSER, MARTH TO LINK, ZELDA TO PEACH, YOU NAME ‘EM, THEY’RE PROBABLY GONNA BE ON YOUR PATH. BUT DON’T WORRY, ONCE YOU BEAT THEM, THE SPELL WILL WEAR OFF, AND THEY WILL REGAIN THEIR MIND CONTROL.”
“So, in other words, we will be saving worlds just by fighting those things?”
“No Luigi. We’re gonna have to fight the REAL deals. It’ll be tough, but we can do it! So where to first Gamer?”
“THAT’S UP TO YOU. BUT, YOU HAVE TO GO IN ORDER. FIRST UP, IT’S FOX AND FALCO.”
“Hey Luigi, ever heard of them?”
“No. This would be the first time. Do you think that we can take them?”
“Oh don’t be such a worry-Wart Luigi! We can do this easy!”
“Yeah, but what about that Hand we saw?”
“YOU SAW MASTER HAND?! WHERE DID HE GO?!”
“You know it? What is it?”
“IT’S A HAND OF THE ALMIGHTY SHINU-JENSEI! IT CAN CREATE ANYTHING! EVEN OTHER MARIO’S FOR YOU TO FIGHT! THE MORE THERE ARE, THE WEAKER THEY ARE THOUGH.”
“Wait, one of his hands? What about the other one?”
“THE OTHER ONE, IS CRAZY HAND. HE DESTROYS WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANTS. JUST HOPE YOU DON’T RUN INTO HIM. AND HE IS AS HANDSOME AS PRINCE FREAKING CHARMING!”
“I got it. Master Hand creates, while Crazy Hand destroys.”
“EXACTLY.”
“Then Mario, maybe we oughta get going!”
Mario is over at the flower bed beside the house watering his Fire-Flowers. He looks over to Luigi. “Right.”
Suddenly, a chest as big as Luigi lands right in fromt of them. Mario opens the chest, pulls out a map, and the tune frome Zelda: Ocarina of Time plays.
Mario says “what the?”
Luigi-“I don’t even know.”
“YOUR WELCOME. IT’S A GIFT FROM ME. IT’LL TAKE YOU TO YOUR FIRST DESTINATION. YOUR FIRST TWO TARGETS ARE FOX AND FALCO. AFTER THEM, YOU NEED TO TAKE OUT NESS, KIRBY, BOWSER, JIGGLY PUFF WITH PIKACHU AND MEWTWO, AND LASTLY, MASTER HAND HIMSELF.”
“Wow. So much for choosing our own paths, huh?”
“Just shut up Luigi. We gotta get going.”
Suddenly, the map starts to glow a deep blue, and opens a portal which then, sucks up the two of them. The next thing they know, they are in space. Luigi starts to gag and choke, while Mario seems very calm.
“Uh, Luigi?”
Luigi is a bit busy choking.
“Luigi! Just breath!”
Luigi then says, while gagging, “I can’t! we’re out in space!”
“Then how am I breathing?”
“What?”
“JUST BREATHE YOU IDIOT!”
Luigi takes in a deep breath all loony, and then realizes that he can breathe.
Luigi seems very confused. He turns to Mario and says “how is this possible?”
Mario is also a bit confused. He, however, is more curious than anything else. How did that map do that? And how did that chest come out of absolutely nowhere? And most of all, how did-
Mario’s thoughts are interrupted by a british or English accented voice. “You are in restricted air-space! Turn back now!”
Mario looks around. Turns to Luigi, and says, “Who said that?”
Luigi shrugs.
“I did.”
Mario and Luigi look around. Finally, after a few moments of silence, Luigi says “we don’t see you. Show yourself you coward!”
Mario’s shocked by his brother’s words. “LUIGI!!! I apolagize for my brother’s behavior. But, where are we anyway?”
A different voice pipes into the conversation. “Sorry, but that’s classified. I’m afraide that we must take you into custody.”
Mario gasps softly. “What?”
The british/English voice takes over again. This time it’s talking to the second voice. “All right Falco, take them in.”
An Arwing approaches the Super Cosmos Brothers, and activates a beam of green light. It’s a tractor-beam. It takes them over to the Star Fox. Luigi begins to panic. “Where are they taking us?! Mario I’m scared stiff! I wanna go home!”
Mario shakes his head in disbelief. “Luigi, stop being such a chicken.”
“WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!” Screams a voice from the Arwing. “DID YOU JUST CALL ME A CHICKEN? A CHICKEN OF ALL THINGS?!”
Mario looks up toward the Arwing and sees a blue bird at it’s controls. “I wasn’t talk-“
“He wasn’t talking to you bird-boy, he was talking to me!” yells Luigi.
“Luigi. Again, please shut up.”
“But-“ he stammers.
“BUT NOTHING!” Mario begins to whisper now. “Remember GAMER told us that Fox and Falco were our first opponents? They must be them!”
The blue bird-like creature leans over in the cockpit to look down at Mario and Luigi. “How do you know our names?”
The Arwing comes up to the Star Fox. “We were told them by GAMER.”
Fox comes over in his Arwing and pairs up with the blue bird. “Hey Falco! He must be the one!”
“No way, there’s two of them.”
“How else would he know the name Gamer?”
Falco scratches his beak, thinking. He finally realizes the predicament of their current situation. “Should we take them to her? She would know for certain…”
Fox seems to turn red in the face when ‘she’ was mentioned. He starts to reply, but his voice cracks slightly. He clears his throat, and says “Falco, switch over to the comlink.”
Falco nods and does so. Fox resumes his previous sentence. “No way! She’s on vacation now, remember? Besides…we kinda had an argument the other day and-“
Falco screams into the communicator on his helmet. “AGAIN?! Jeez Fox! That’s the fifth time this week! And it’s only Tuesday!” Falco laughs a little at his own little funny. Fox didn’t seem too amused. “That’s beside the point! Just take them onto the Star Fox.”
“Alright, alright, alright. Fine.” He heads over to the ship that’s about as big as Bowser’s ship from Paper Mario.
Fox stops him about halfway. “I’ll catch up with you later.”
Falco turns his head in the cockpit towards Fox’s Arwing. “Wait. You mean that you’re going again?” He groans.”…Fine. See ya on board later, I suppose.”
Falco takes Mario and Luigi on board, and Fox stays outside and starts patrolling. Once Falco is out of sight and on board the Star Fox, he hits his boosters and heads off into the distance.
Back on board with Falco, Mario, and Luigi, Falco is keeping an eye on both of them. They are in the guest room. They have been talking non-stop about their friends back home and about Peach and Daisy.
About ten minutes pass by.
Falco can’t take another moment of their constant chatter. “WILL YOU BOTH JUST SHUT UP!? Who cares about your Princess Plum and the Toadstool Kingdom?! Who cares about your Princess Dainty and Sarasaland?! Just shut the he** up!”
Luigi jumps and looks in shock at Falco. Mario is just startled. Then Luigi says to Mario “I think maybe we might’ve made him angry.”
Mario says sarcastically, “Wow Luigi, really? You think so?”
Falco just continues to watch the Super Mario Bros. with major suspicion. “Where did you guys say you were from again?” he growls. He’s still a little angry from their non-stop talking.
Mario is the first to respond. “We’re from-“
“Get on with it!” Falco yells impatiently.
Mario flinches. Falco glares at him. Luigi continues for Mario. “We are from, like we were saying earlier, the Mushroom Kingdom. And there we are known as Mario and Luigi; the Super Mario Bros. We help rescue royal families and their friends. Some are toads, people with mushroom heads, and some are from as far away as space.”
“Explain the space people.” Falco quickly asks, with a slight glint in his eye.
Mario takes over. “Princess Rosalina. Ever heard of her?”
Falco shakes his head. “No. I haven’t.”
Luigi asks almost immediately after Falco is done “So what about you and that dog? What’s your deal?”
Falco says angrily at Luigi “HE IS NO DOG! HE IS A FOX!”
Luigi cowers slightly at Falco’s heightened voice. He recovers quite quickly, to Mario’s surprise, and then Luigi continues. “You didn’t have to scream! It was just a simple question!”
Falco breathes in and out to calm down. A few moments later, Falco resumes. “I am Falco. And that ‘dog’ of which you speak, I assume you mean Fox. There’s also Slippy, but he’s not all that important. Not as much anyway…Then there’s Krystal, Fox’s girlfriend.”
Luigi whistles. Then he whispers to Mario “Wow. A lot of characters in this world, huh?” Mario nods in agreement.
Falco looks over to Luigi. “What was that?”
“Huh? Oh nothing.”
Falco looks Luigi over, and turns back to Mario. “Now, tell me some more about your girlfriend. Peach, I believe you called her?”
Mario blushes slightly and turns away from Falco. “Well, you see, we…umm…we-uhh…”
Luigi interrupts. “What he is trying to say is, they have never gone out on a date but they still seem very close. Most say, closer than just boy and girlfriends. Personally, I agree with them.”
Mario blushes so hard that you can’t tell where the head stops and the hat starts. “Luigi, you’re not helping!”
“What? He asked and you weren’t answering. Anyone would’ve done that if they knew about you and the Princess.”
Faclo lounges back into the couch trying to absorb all of this information. He starts thinking. If what they just said is true, then we just got done capturing heroes from way out of town. He looks down to the Mario Bros. “Oh man. I apolagize for my behavior earlier, Mario Bros., we didn’t know we were taking into custody heroes like us.”
Mario hears this and asks “What do you mean like us? You mean you and Fox?”
“No. I mean like me and freakin’ Slippy. YES ME AND FOX!”
Lui9gi jumps again at Falco yelling. “Sorry man! Jeez! Short tempered aren’t you?”
Falco stares at Luigi in silent anger.
Luigi continues talking. “Why aren’t you responding?”
Mario looks over to his brother. “Luigi, why not just leave him alone. We’re guests (kind of) and must act as such. That’s manners. And maybe some courtesy too.”
“Fine. Just one more question.”
Falco wonders what it is. “Shoot.”
“Where did Fox go anyway?”
Falco doesn’t answer.
“Luigi, just leave him alone” Mario says sympathetically.
“Well, where’d he go? Why don’t you answer?”
Mario gets a bit p’d off by being ignored. “Luigi! Quit being a jack@$$!”
“Mario, stop it! Using such language in the presence of an officer of the Law! Now answer me Falco, why don’t you tell us?”
“Because” Falco finally says.
“Because why?”
“Because it’s classified.”
“Obviously not for you though.”
“Because I work with Fox which gives me certain
privaleges.”
“How does that work?”
“It just does.”
“But why?”
“Because it does.”
Luigi continues being a jack@$$ asking yet again “Why?”
Falco yells “Because shut up! It’s classified, so just shut up about it!”
Luigi gets a bit more ticked by this reaction. “No, YOU shut up!”
“I am in charge here now you shut up!”
“No one’s the boss of me except Princess Daisy! Especially not an overgrown talking pidgeon who thinks he’s a bad@$$.”
Falco’s feathers turn purple form rage. “I AM A BAD@$$ FOR YOUR INFORMATION!”
“Prove it! Fight me!”
Mario just stays back and watches the two go back and forth. “This won’t end well.”
A voice next to Mario’s left responds “Sure doesn’t look like it. But, out of curiosity, who do you think would win?”
“My Brother definitely. Why do you ask?”
“Because Falco is really tough. Maybe even tougher than Fox.”
“Oh? And how would you be able to tell that?” Mario says this while turning to face the talking person. He sees, at first, just a gun holser with a black pistol in it. He looks up, and sees a Fox with sci-fi headgear like Falco’s is staring right at him. Mario then just stares at him. “Wait, aren’t you…”
“Yes, I’m Fox. You have already met Falco as I can see, but have you met Slippy yet?”
Mario remains silent, but manages to shake his head no.
“Good, ‘cause I don’t know if you would want to. He’s a bit eccentric-if you catch my drift.”
Mario snaps out of his little fit and says “So why would Falco win?”
“He’s a strong fighter, that’s why.”
“Well Luigi is strong too. Overall I’m better though, but he is a tough opponent to beat. Even for me, and I’m his twin brother. I know all of his weaknesses, and it still takes me several tries just to hit him at all. That’s why I think he would win.”
“Well, I guess we won’t get to find out then.”
“WHAT?” Mario whips his head around to Fox. “Why do you say that?”
Fox points to the two feuding “2nd best” people. They are shaking hands.
“Hey Mario! I’m better!”
“But you didn’t even battle!”
“Yeah we did” says Falco, holding up a chessboard. “He’s better at Chess than I am. He was a good opponent! Even better than Fox is!”
“That’s because you always lose against me.”
“Exactly. This time, I actually came very close!”
Luigi approaches Mario and Fox. “So, where’d you get off to?”
Falco repeats himself saying that it was classified.
“I don’t care what it is! I wanna know!”
Fox walks up to Luigi. “Well, if you must know, I went on patrol for Wolf.”
Mario and Luigi both look at Fox and ask in unison “Who?”
Fox seems shocked by their response. “You don’t know Wolf?! You’re not from around here, are you?”
In unison: “Nope!”
Falco approaches to Fox and says “I just found that out not too long ago.”
“I see. Any clue who they are?”
“They are The Super Mario Bros. from the Mushroom Kingdom. They haven’t explained much, but that’s what I know in a nutshell.”
“The Super Mario Bros. huh? Never heard of them.”
“I haven’t even heard of the Mushroom Kingdom. Should we believe them sir?”
“I don’t know. For now, I suppose. We’ll constantly monitor them though.”
Later…
Fox is on a video phone with Luigi watching in the background.
“So how is your vacation Krystal?”
“It’s wonderful! I really needed this vay-cay! Thanks a bunch Fox!”
“Your welcome. Now-“
“But who is the green guy behind you?”
Before Fox could even answer, Luigi pushes him aside and replies for him. “I am Luigi Mario of the Mushroom Kingdom! An you are apparently this Krystal person that Fox talks about all the time in his sleep!”
Upon hearing this, Fox blushes slightly and Krystal giggles. “Oh really? Is that true Fox? Do you dream about me?” She starts to giggle louder. Sadly, Fox is stunned and can’t answer. He can’t believe that Luigi actually said that in front of him during a live connection!
“Don’t worry, you don’t have to answer” Krystal says after several quiet seconds. “I understand. So, Luigi,”
“Yes, Krystal?”
“Do me a favor would you?”
“Of course! What is it?”
“Watch over Fox for me. He can get into such troublesome predicaments you know!”
“Yeah. Got it!”
“Thank you Luigi!” She gives him a kiss through the video screen. Fox gets a little jealous. “Bye-bye now Foxxy, and be careful!” She hangs up. The screen flashes “CONNECTION LOST” and Fox gets over to the screen and turns it off. He turns and glares at Luigi who flinches.
“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”
“I just wanted to say ‘hi’ to the pretty fox…”
“Well, don’t be getting any ideas.”
“Don’t worry ‘Foxxy’, I won’t.”
Fox growls at Luigi. Then growls out “and why not?”
“Because I already have a special girl at home.”
Almost immediately, Fox’s attitude changes. “Who is it? Come on, tell me!”
“Her name is Daisy. She’s a princess of another kingdom in a parallel universe to me and Mario’s. The kingdom’s name is Sarasaland. And she-“
Fox interrupts. “Parrallel universe? What planet are you from anyway?”
“Earth. Why?”
Fox stiffens up. He seems a little shocked-scared even. “I-I’ll be right back. Hang on.” He runs out of the room. “Huh, I wonder what got into him?” Luigi is confused about this sudden change in Fox. “Eh, maybe it’s about Krystal. I better follow him.” Luigi gets up and begins to tail Fox (pun intended) until Fox stops just outside a door. Earlier, Luigi tried to open the door but it seemed impossible. Fox’s ears perk up. Luigi hides behind a corner of the hallway, just as Fox turns his head around to look behind him. Fox’s guard drops a bit and he whispers something to the door. Luigi begins to tail him again just as the door starts to close. What is inside, Luigi cannot even begin to fathom was possible!
Luigi follows Fox into the room. It’s all dark except for a single round platform in the center. Luigi doesn’t see Fox anywhere. So he approaches the platform. Then, he’s grabbed from behind and hears somebody whisper in his ear: “Reveal thy name!” Luigi begins to cower but gulps it down. He then realizes that it’s Falco’s voice.
“FALCO! Why did you scare me like that?! What the hell-“
“SSHHH! Be quiet you green buffoon! Or we’ll get caught!” Luigi, confused, stupidly asks “what?”
Falco ignores him and drags him into a dark passageway towards his left. Luigi still struggling, asks “what the hell are you doing to me?!”
“Will you shut up! He’s coming back!”
Luigi, still confused, just looks up at Falco. Then sees that he’s pointing towards the round platform. It started glowing a purplish color. In it’s center, one of those polygons appear. Luigi begins to gasp, but Falco covers his mouth with his hands/wings. Luigi begins to understand at this point. Then, without warning, the polygon starts to glow a orange and white coloration. It starts to morph. Luigi just watches in horror as it becomes an exact replica of the Fox he thought he knew! It then leaves the room, leaving Falco and Luigi in the room alone.
Luigi looks back up to Falco and says “Hey Falco?”
Falco looks down. “What?”
“You can let go of me now.”
Falco gasps and sort of throws Luigi to the side. “Sorry! I didn’t mean-I…uh…I mean that-I’m not-“
“Never mind that now! We need to find the real Fox and rescue him!”
Falco breathes our a sigh of relief. “Where do you think we should start?”
Luigi ponders this for a little while. He paces the floor in front of Falco for what seemed like hours. Falco lies down on the floor waiting for Luigi to respond. Eventually, he falls asleep. Then…
“I’VE GOT IT!” Luigi screams, awaking Falco.
Falco puts his hand/wing over Luigi’s mouth quickly. He whispers loudly “YOU IDIOT! Do you want the polygon things to know we’re here?!”
Luigi kind of droops down in emotional distress.
Falco feels a little bad for the little guy. “So, uh, what was your plan?”
Luigi almost immediately looks back up and starts to reveal his plan. “Well first we…” We start to zoom out of the scene, slowly fading out to black, while Luigi continues revealing his plan in silence to us, while Falco continuesly nods his head. A few moments pass by, and then we come back up to Luigi who is stopped by Falco.
“I didn’t get any of that.”
Luigi sighs in disbelief. “Long story short, I want to tell Mario.”
“Oh. Ok, that’s cool.”
Finally fade out to black.
Meanwhile, back with Mario, he’s sipping on some coffee to keep himself awake. We see Luigi and Falco come up to him. Luigi starts to say that they have something to tell him, but is interrupted by Mario.
“Do not even start it with me bub. I’m not in the mood.”
Luigi jumps back in surprise at his brothers’ foul mood. “What’s wrong with you?! I have something very important to tell you! Just listen to th-“
“SHUT UP FAKER! I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE!”
Both Luigi and Falco jump back in surprise. Falco is the first to speak. “Huh? What are you talking about Mario?”
“They think I am gonna fall for it twice? How dumb do they think I am? Seriously, just how stupid do they think I am?!”
Luigi slowly takes a couple steps towards his seemingly crazy nuthouse of a brother. “:Mario? Who are you talking about?”
“Don’t play that coy little game with me! I know what you really are!”
Falco, a little bit ticked now, says “whatever you’re on Mario, you need to listen to me. You are on the Star Fox and my name is Falco. This here, is your brother Luigi. You are from the Mushroom Kingdom. You were taken here by me and Fox who both thought you were evil. And-“
“LIES! ALL LIES! QUIT GETTING INTO MY HEAD!”
Luigi looks over to Falco. “Hey, uh, I think he’s finally snapped. All those mushrooms must have-“
Mario stand up while Luigi is saying this. Then he interrupts saying “No. You don’t understand do you? You have tried to kill me twice now. Damn polygons. You won’t get me this time! Never trick Mario twice and think you can trick him again!”
Luigi seems scared. “What are you talking about Mario?”
“I mean, you think you can pose off as Luigi and Falco, come in here, get my guard down, and try to kill me?! No chance this time! Bring it on polygons!” Mario gets up and charges toward the two, fists a-blazing with the FireBrand. Luigi, instinctively, counters with the ThunderHand, shocking Mario into stopping in his tracks.
Mario shakes his head to bring himself to. “How did-how did you use that technique?! Polygons can only copy abilities to a certain extent, but that was a fully charged jab!” Mario gets up off the floor and walks over to Luigi and Falco who is still ready to fight off Mario in case he tries a dirty move. “Luigi, is that really you?”
Luigi yells “FINALLY! You recognize me! It took you this long? I’m appalled by you Mario!” Luigi starts laughing now, while Mario goes over to Falco. “So, I take it you are the real Falco then?”
“Duh” he says with a bit of attitude toward Mario.
“I can tell that now” Mario says with attitude to counter Falco. He turns to Luigi. “So, why are you here anyway? Last time I saw you Luigi was when you took off to talk with Fox in the galley.”
Luigi stops smiling and his expression turns serious. “That Fox was an imposter Mario. As soon as I mentioned he kinda twitched, not like he normally does, and he said that he’ll be right back. I was curious why he was acting that way, so I followed him to a room that I tried to open once before. He opened it with some kind of a key I’ve never seen before, but with us being in outer space with talking birds and foxes, I didn’t think twice. I followed him in, and I lost him then and there. I started to look around, and there was this big glowing blue platform in the middle of the room. I started to head over to it, but that’s when Falco pulled me over and into the corner. He covered my mouth to silence me, and he pointed over to the platform after a few moments of agitated silence, and I saw it. One of those polygons we fought at our house before we came here. They were easy for us to beat, but it was two on two. They were twice as easy to beat. This time, though, it’s just one. So we have to-“
Falco interrupts. “Wait. You mean to tell me that you’ve fought these things before? At your place? In a different dimension? Obviously, this is something beyond our power alone to control.”
Mario and Luigi lood at Falco, then each other, and then they both start glaring at Falco who jumps back in shock. “What? Was it something I said?”
Mario starts toward Falco, who starts to back away. Luigi runs back behind him, and blocks his way out. “What’s going on here? What is the meaning of this? What are you doing?” Falco starts saying in a scared frenzy. “Mario dramatically approaches Falco from the front, and says that he’s not the real Falco. “What do you mean I’m not the real Falco? Of course I am! Are you nuts?!” Mario grabs Falco’s vest and pulls him down to Mario’s eyes where eye-contact is met. “UNHAND ME AT ONCE!”
Mario stares deeply into Falco’s eyes, and he punches Falco into a wall. Falco goes unconscious. We blackout with him.
Falco’s eyes begin to flutter open, and we see what he sees too. We’re in a pitch-black room. “Where…where am I? What happened?...Wait…Now I remember. I was attacked by the Mario Bros. They must be polygons. I’ve got to warn Fox!” He begins to get up, but can’t move. “What the…?” He looks down. His eyes begin to adjust to the darkness. He notices that he is tied up by roap. “What in the sam hill is going on here?!” he yells.
“Perhaps that’s what you should be telling us you beg blue chicken.”
“What?! Who’s there?! Show yourself! Stop hiding!”
A different voice starts talking. “You were right my brother, he is an imposter. Good call!”
“Ok, seriously, this isn’t funny! Somebody turn on the lights!”
clap-clap
The lights turn on in a bright flash.Falco flinches, and waits for his eyes to adjust. What he sees makes him gasp in horror! The Mario Bros.! “YOU?! YOU did this to me?! Why?!”
Mario looks over to Luigi and whispers “He is a persistent one, isn’t he?” Luigi looks over to Mario and whispers back “Yes he is. The final test now?” Mario nods in agreement. They both look back to Falco and untie him.
“Well it’s about time you hooligans! Why was I tied up anyway?!”
“You should know you imposter!” Mario screamed to Falco.
“ME?! What about YOU?! Huh?! YOU attacked ME, remember?! Why would I be the imposter?”
Luigi slaps Falco. Falco looks surprise at Luigi for doing something so bold. “Wh-What did you-aagghhh! Never mind that. What are you doing to me? I’m no imposter! You guys know me!”
Mario walks over and slaps Falco also. His hurt Falco a lot more than Luigi’s. “Because we already told you everything that happened to us before you abducted us in your Arwing, including the polygon fight that we had! Yet, you asked us why we didn’t tell you that. Now answer me this…” Falco gulps. “…why would we have to tell you that information twice? You said, in your little monolougue when you first brought us aboard, that you remember everything that ever happened to you since the 3rd grade. Now, how could you forget something so easily?” Falco remains silent; staring at Mario in horror. Or so they think, it’s kinda hard to tell a bird’s emotions by their face alone, you know… “Answer me Falco.” Mario says nice and calm. Falco remains silent still. A bit louder “Answer me.” Falco open his beak to respond but nothing comes out. “I said ANSWER ME FALCO! OR I’LL CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF AND LET YOUR BODY RUN AROUND LIKE A CHICKEN!!!” Falco ‘eeps’ when he hears this and starts to tear up. Yes, tear up. Tears. Crying. Sadness. Etc. “ALRIGHT! Alright! Alright! I’ll tell you. I was sent along with the Fox polygon to watch over you in this dimension, and obviously, we failed.” Luigi walks over now. “What about the Fox and Falco we first met? Were they the real ones?” “Yes. Yes they were. We got here only about the time that you did. It’s hard to steer in space you know! Especially when you have no ship to steer with!”
Mario walks qround the chair that Falco was tied in. He walks back toward Falco polygon calmly. “So, you ARE the polygon of Falco?”
“Hey Mario? Don’t do anything drastic.” “Don’t worry Luigi, he’s gonna get the just desserts he deserves…” Mario walks over to Falco polygon and prepares a fiery powerful punch. When he throws it towards Falco, he flinches. His eyes close. He waits the contact of the punch. He waits…and waits…ans waits…he opens his eyes and notices that the fist is now an open palm. In it is a locator with a “Super Smash Bros” symbol on it. “What in the…?” Luigi looks shocked too. “What are you doing Mario? Finish him already!”
Mario looks up towards the Falco polygon and says “Want to join our team Falco?” Luigi’s jaw drops to the floor. Falco seems very confused. “…what…did you just say?” “I said, want to join our team? We could use you and Fox both on the team to save the worlds, and you seem like a very good fighter. So, Falco, what do you say?”
Luigi screams at his brother “WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?! HE’S A POLYGON!”
“No, he’s not Luigi.” Luigi comes over to Mario and Falco still screaming. “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!? HE IS TOO A POLYGON! YOU SAID SO YOURSELF!!!” “He’s not a polygon Luigi, he’s was testing us for our tales of being heroes. He was testing us to see if we were polygons.” Luigi’s jaw drops again. Much louder this time. “Isn’t that right, Falco?”
Falco just stares at Mario. Then looks at Luigi, jaw still on the floor staring at Mario, then he looks back to Mario. He remains silen and unmoving for several minutes. Then, “Are you sure you can trust what I say to you? He still thinks of me as a polygon. Will he attack me depending on what I say?”
Mario glances over at Luigi, than says “Yes. It’ll depend on what you say, but I will hold him back.”
“Very well then.” He looks over to Luigi then says “Yes. It was all a hoax. I was testing yoy, as you previously stated. Very good Mario,” Falco starts chuckling and clapping his hands/wings, “very good indeed. How did you figure it out? I must know.”
Mario sits down at a table nearby. “It was rather easy, ,actually. After I attacked you, I noticed you just standing there unmoving. I wondered why you wouldn’t attack me along with Luigi, then I had it. You weren’t a polygon. Otherwise, you sould’ve attacke me along with Luigi.”
Luigi seems skeptical. “What are you talking about? You attacked us! Only I defended because you only attacked me! Falco had nothing to do with it!”
“Exactly Luigi. He did nothing instead of attacking. You blocked because I attacked you and only you.”
Luigi opens his mouth to argue, but remains silent. He can’t think of anything else to say.
“Well done Mario! Very well done! But you forgot one thing…the real polygon.”
“Nice try, Falco.” Mario begins to yell. “Hey Fox! You can come out now!” Falco seems taken aback, but remains silent. A few moments pass by, and then Fox reveals himself from the shadows. “Well done Mario! I guess you are the real deal! Way to go!” Fox congratulates Mario, leaving Luigi in his shadow. Yet again. “How did you know about that part?”
Mario adjusts his hat. Then says “I didn’t.”
Fox and Falco both yell “WHAT?!”
“I didn’t know. Until you guys told me, just now!” He begins to laugh. The other three just have the sweat drop on the back of their heads. Mario continues. “However, there is one thing I haven’t gotten yet…”
The two animals seem alert. “What do you mean?” asks Fox.
“I mean, the polygon that Luigi saw in that locked room. That’s what I don’t have yet.”
Fox looks over to Luigi. “What room?”
They follow Luigi into the hallway. Luigi is leading the three of them to the room. “It was right over here. This one here.” He points to a sliding vertical door. Fox laughs. “That’s just my training room. Watch.” He pulls out the same key that Luigi saw, he notices the Fox head on the tip and that the key itself is just a card. He slides it up a control panel near the left side of the door. The panel turns from blue to green, then back to blue. The panel then displays a “WELCOME FOX” message on it. The door opens to show the same room that Falco stopped Luigi in. “Well, come on in!” Fox says to the plumbers. They both simply walk in. They are suddenly flooded by white light.
“WELCOME FOX, HOW MAY I HELP YOU TODAY?”
“Say hello to my training facility. In other words, my Grand Awesome Mechanical Energizer. Or, G.A.M.E. for short. Me and Falco are both really good at this, and on the internet rankings, we both place 1st and 3rd. I’m the 1st. Falco is 3rd. The 2nd, goes by an alias of GAMER in all caps. Just like the name you said told you of us when you first arrived. That’s why we didn’t blast you into oblivion when you first arrived in this area. We thought you might’ve been or somehow knew GAMER and-“
“You misunderstood Fox. Not that GAMER.” Mario interupts. “The GAMER I was talking about, was a voice we both heard that told us we had to fight different characters from different worlds to save the omniverse. In a matter of speaking.”
Fox seems somewhat puzzled. “So, you don’t know this other GAMER? That’s too bad. That was our only reason to keep you alive on this ship. Both Fox and Falco pull out their blasters. “Hey Fox, can I do it now, huh? I’ve been wanting to do this to the green one ever since they got here.”
Fox resumes as if Falco didn’tt even talk. “Now we have a different reason to trust you and keep you alive. This omniverse is apparently in peril, and you know how to save it, so, I’m in.” Falco seems a little upset, but quickly changes his mood. “Count me in too.” He says.
Mario pulls out the old map and notices something. Andross is colored in and revealed on it. It’s in the top right corner. Then it begins to glow a lighter blue than before. “Here we go again!” Mario says.
“Wait, this is how you got here?” asks Fox. Mario nods. Then, the portal opens up again, and then, at that precise moment, Slippy comes in from the bathroom. “Hey guys, some weird readings on the energy radar, I don’t know what…What is happening!?” He runs over to them, but the portal absorbs them and disappears before it can reach them. “Not again. They get to go on an adventure without me. AGAIN!”
End of Star Fox chapter
The group screams as they fall from the sky.
-Blam!-
“Oh…My head…is everyone else alright?”
Luigi is face first in the dirt, Fox is falling then lands perfectly in front of Mario, and Falco is stuck in a tree beside him. Luigi muffled by the dirt, “oh the irony…” Falco, muffled by the leaves, “oh shut up…” Fox looks over to Mario, who is chuckling at Luigi and Falco. When he sees Fox’s gaze, he immediately stops.
“Hey Mario, any idea where we are?”
Mario takes out the map. “Well it says here, next to Andross, I think ‘Pop Star-Dream Land’ or something. I’m not entirely sure…”
Suddenly, Mario sees something falling from the sky. “Hey, what’s that?”
Luigi finally gets his face outt of the ground, and sees the star. “Maybe it’s a falling star?” “It can’t be that obvious idiot!” yells Falco. Fox then hears something. “Hush” he calmly says to the others. Mario responds though. “What is it?” “I said hush” Fox snaps at him. Mario takes a few steps back. Fox looks up in the air at the star. It’s getting larger and larger. It’s coming towards them. No wait, it’s coming right for them! Fox jumps out of the way and prepares for battle. Mario does the same. “Luigi, get ready!” Mario yells. “I’m a bit busy at the moment eating dirt!” He replies. Luigi is still half-stuck in the ground. “Falco! You too!” Fox yells. “Also a little preoccupied!” Falco is struggling to get out of the tree’s tangling branches. The star zooms in on them and crashes into the ground just in front of them. Smoke clouds up their vision of the person or thing. “Wait until you see him move Mario, that’s when we strike!” Mario nods in agreement. As the smoke clears, nothing is visible except the crater and a Starship inside it. Mario lets Fox know with hand signals that he’s going to check it out. Fox nods in agreement. Mario stealthily walks over and looks inside the crater. He looks around very carefully, and heads back over to Fox. It’s all clear. Nothing I can make out. Fox lowers his guard a bit, and yells “Falco!” Falco struggles around a little bit and looks at something on his headgear through the lens. “It says something is nearby! I don’t know what though. It’s energy sig is a new one for me! Be careful!”
Fox looks back over to the crater. He sees something, ad cautiously, walks over to it. Mario and Luigi watch. Fox is next to the crater when Falco falls yelling from th tree. He hits several branches on the way down. Mar and Luigi hush him, and they turn back over to Fox. Falco rushes over to join up with him. They chat a little bit but they are out of earshot for the brothers. Then, A pink ball-shaped creature with wings appears behind Mario, and Luigi behind, behind Mario, yells out “I think I found it!” Mario turns around and the pink ball-like thing stays behind him. “Where is it Luigi?” “It’s right behind you!” Mario turns in complete circles with the ball-like thing staying behind him the entire time. Falco looks back and sees it, and pulls out his blaster and shoots it. It bounces off of Mario’s head and bounces towards Fox and Falco. It hits Falco in the head. It sits up and says “ow! That hurt you stupid bird! What was that for?!”
Fox turns around now and notices it. It’s about the size of a Toad but all pink.
Falco chimes in. “Sorry, I though you were…an evil thing.”
“Seriously?! You thought I was evil?! Where are you guys from?!” It yells at Falco.
Fox takes over. “I am from Andross and the two behind you are from the Mushroom Kingdom. And the bird, as you call him, is from-“
“That’s not important to a talking wad of gum.”
The ball-like creature gets up and screams “GUM?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN GUM?! I AM A STAR WARRIOR THANK YOU!!! AND THE NAME IS KIRBY!”
Falco snickers.
“What is so funny about ‘Kirby’? It’s a good name you know!”
Falco clears his throat. “Sorry.” He turns around and starts glaring at the tree that had him in several chokeholds earlier.
Kirby notices this. “What’s wrong bird-boy?”
“Don’t call me ‘bird-boy’ because my name is Falco. Not bird-boy. Got it?”
“Yeah sure whatever. So, what are you four doing here anyway?”
Mario starts up at this moment. “Well, it’s a bit complicated. Basically, long story short, we are saving the omniverse. Saving several worlds. We are currently recruiting members. I guess. These two came on their own decision. We didn’t invite them though.”
Luigi joins in at this being mentioned. “Yeah, they basically “hitched a ride” as it were!”
Falco grabs Luigi by the collar of his shirt. “Ya wanna say that again? To my face?”
Luigi quickly shakes his head no.
“Well then,” Kirby continues “Allow me to introduce myself properly. I am Kirby, and I am a ‘Star Warrior’. One who races across galaxies and helps to save planets and even entire glaxies at some times. I’ve heard tell of a Star Warrior who doesn’t even leave his home planet! I believe I heard the name Mario or something.”
Everybody except Kirby looks over to Mario, who says “what?”
Kirby notices everybody staring at Mario. “What’s going on here? Did I hurt him when I bounced off of him?”
Mario slowly walks up to Kirby. He kneels down, looks him in the eye, and says, “I’m Mario.”
Kirby blinks. “Wh-what? You-you are Mario?”
Mario nods his head. Everyone stays silent. Kirby approaches Mario, eyeing him suspiciously. He looks him up and down. After inspecting him, Kirby takes a few steps back. He opens his mouth, and inhales Mario! He swallows, taking a Mario hat and releasing Mario. Mario jumps back to the group.
“What the hell was that for?!” Luigi walks up to Mario. “Better yet, how did he do it?”
“I can do that as one of my abilities! It allow me to copy an opponents or an ally’s ability. For example:” Kirby throws his hand out, and releases a fireball exactly like Mario does. “I can now use fireballs! Same with your other basic special abilities. Blasters and other stuff included!”
Fox seems astounded. “That’s absolutely amazing! How did you learn to do that?”
Kirby looks over to Fox. “I was able to do it from birth. I don’t know how I learned it, to be honest. That ability is what turned me into a Star Warrior. Speaking of which, have any of you seen a blue thing kind of like me in shape and size? Most likely wearing a blue cloak, silver knight’s hemlet, and wielding a fire sword?”
The three shake their heads. “No, but he sounds pretty cool though!” yells Luigi. Mario slaps him across the head. “Ow! What was that for?!”
“You moron, obviously, that’s the bad guy of this dimension!”
“Actually…” Everyone turns to Kirby. “He’s not the worst. But he is the only present threat to Dream-Land. That’s the area where you’re at now. My home: Dream-Land. Anyway, the guy’s name is-“
The ground begins to shake. The sky darkens. A huge ship appears over the horizon, heading straight for the five heroes. Kirby’s expression turns very serious. “That’s him! That’s Meta-Knight’s ship, the Halberd!”
The four heroes turn to look at the ship. It’s gigantic in looks, the head of the ship looks like a silver knights helmet, it has four bat-like wings, a huge cannon on the top, and is bigger than the Star Fox and the Castle of Bowser combined!
Kirby’s expression changes again. This time, to anger. “I busted that thing once, and I can do it again! He fixes it, I bust it!” He looks around, sucks up Falco, swallows, releases Falco, and he turns into Wing Kirby. He flies off into the distance towards the Halberd. Mario and Luigi watch as he flies off, Fox watches Falco get pissed, and Falco tries to fly off after him. But, for some reason, he can’t fly. So, when he takes off, he starts to flap, and he faceplants into the dirt. Luigi simply chuckles at the sight of a bird faceplantin into a patch of dirt like a newbie skater. Fox rushes over to see if he is alright, and Mario just watches Kirby head out towards the humongous ship.
“Falco, are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine Fox. But Luigi might not be soon. He’s gonna get such a…hey, what’s up with Mario?”
The three turn to Mario, who’s look has turned a deadly serious. He gets something out from his pocket, and puts it on his hat. It’s a wing cap. He looks over to the others. “If you’re coming, then put these on. The controls come to you naturally.” He tosses three wing caps to them, and they put them on. Falco seems exhilarated, Fox seems unsure, and Luigi is ‘eeing’ with joy. “I can’t believe I finally get to try this baby out! Sweeeet!” Luigi can barely contain his high-pitched voice from excaping with his emotions. Everyone looks at him with puzzlement. “Eh, he’s always wanted to try this out.” Mario says to the Star Fox crew, who both reply with an “ah.”
Luigi can’t wait to take off. He’s jumping in place. “Come on guys! Let’s go already!” Luigi jumps in a rhythm and takes off, arms outstretched. Mario starts to follow, but then turns over to Fox and Falco. “It’s simple. Just jump low once, jump higher after that, then give it your all on the third jump. If you jumped high enough, then you start to fly immedieately. Watch me.” Mario takes several steps back. Then, he jumps once; not very high, jumps again; a bit higher, then a third high jump. He’s starts to fly then and there. “See? It’s that easy!”
Fox and Falco watch as Mario takes off. They look at each other, then Falco gives it a try. He jumps once, twice, then a third time, with wings outstretched. He flies off with the brothers. Hands of Origin part two
“Hey Fox, he was right! It’s very easy! Just triple-jump!” Soon, Fox and Falco are catching up with Mario and Luigi. Then, it is very obvious that Kirby is already at the Halberd. It has already started firing at a small pink ball flying around its wings. Then the cannon on top of it charges up, and fires out an extremely powerful laser at him. It makes contact with Kirby. He starts to lose control of his wings and starts flying straight towards the Mario bros.! He manages to miss Mario, but Luigi isn’t so lucky. A direct head hit sends them both falling to their doom. However, Falco ends up dive-bombing and rescuing Luigi, and Fox helps out Kirby. After Kirby recovers from the shock of the cannon, he thanks Fox and takes off again toward the gigantic ship. This time, he waits up for the four heroes.
Mario starts up a conversation. “Hey Kirby? Who is this Meta-Knight person anyway?”
Kirby doesn’t look back. He doesn’t even respond.
Mario looks back to the others who merely shrug. They seem confused as well.
“Ok, maybe you have a girlfriend or something?” Mario asked a little later on. But again, silence. The Halberd spots them and begins to shoot out lasers and bullets at them. “Maybe this isn’t the best time” says Mario. They begin to dodge incoming artillery. Eventually, they start using elemental weapons. Chunks of Ice and Flamethrowers are being used on them. They continue to dodge.
“Meta-Knight Sir! We have an incoming report from the weapons deck B-3! It’s Kirby Sir! He’s back!”
We are following a Waddle-Doo as he is running towards a Blue Kirby-looking character. “Good.” He says with a heavy accent. “Excellent. He’s right on time. Prepare the troops on board for battle! We are goin to win this time!” The Waddle-Doo salutes him. “Yes Sir! Right away Sir! I’ll tell the bridge to relay your command!” He takes off through the door behind him. Meta-Knight looks out the window to his left. He sees Kirby and four people behind him. “Hmph. Even with a small cavalry, you cannot defeat me this time Star Warrior! Bring on your full power!” Meta-Knight runs toward the door and all we see as he exits is his glowing yellow eyes and his flowing cloak. He slams the door. We look out the window where Meta-Knight was and we see the five heroes flying straight for the Halberd. We zoom in on them through the bullets and other artillery to join back up with them. Kirby is talking to them. We get within earshot to only hear the end of it. “…and that’s why I am rivals with Meta-Knight. That’s also why he wants to take over Dream-Land.”
Mario and Luigi whistle. Fox and Falco seem in shock. Mario looks to Luigi. “Some story huh?”
“Yeah, who would’ve thought that was how it happened?”
“INCOMING!” Kirby yells. Four of them narrowly dodge an incoming laser blast from the main cannon. The same one that shot Kirby down last time. Luigi wasn’t able to dodge in time however. He was hit dead on!
They finally land on the Halberd. Mario looks back and doesn’t see his brother. He looks around him. “Luigi? Luigi?! LUUUUIIIIIIIIGIIIIIIII!!!” (Yes, a Metal Gear reference. I even went as far as to do that…) Fox and Falco look back and see why Mario yelled his brothers’ name. He is nowhere to be seen. But then…
Falco notices something about Fox’s fur. “Hey Fox? How are you doing that with your fur?”
“Huh?” He looks at Fox. He then looks at his fur. It’s standing on end. “I don’t know. Falco! Your feathers are doing it too!”
Falco looks at himself, and sees that they are too. Mario gasps. He starts to laugh loudly. “What’s so funny Mario?” Falco asks.
Mario is tearing up in the eyes. “It’s Luigi! He’s alive!”
“Fox, what is he talking about?” Fox shakes his head. Then, the sky turns a deep blue. Everything around them turns a deep light blue. An incoming Waddle-Dee gets electrocuted slightly and runs away in fear. Falco and Fox seem puzzled. “Hey Kirby?”
“Yeah Fox?”
“How did you shock him when you’re obviously not having power of electricity at the moment?”
“What do you mean? I didn’t do that.”
Mario walks into the front of the group. “HE didn’t…” he says pointing at Kirby. “…But HE did!” He says looking back from where they came. A wing cap flies up and lands right in front of them. It’s fried and glowing blue. Then, Luigi rises up arms stretched out, head bowing down, body straight, towards them from inderneath the ship. “I’ll be back” he says to the four. Fox, Falco, and Kirby seem in awe. Falco screams “HOW THE HELL?!” Luigi then dives down beneath the Halberd. He uses his hands like cannons and blasts any and everything that moves that’s smaller than 4’5” while zooming around the Halberd. He easily takes out the top wings and the main cannon on the top of the Halberd. He then continues over to the bridge and starts to take out the elite soldiers one=by-one. On his way back however, he shoots one which deflects it with a fire sword. It’s wearing a silver helmet and matches the description that of which Kirby had described. He tries to defeat him with blast after blast, but to no avail. He then returns to the group, who three of, seem very impressed. Mario just seems like he’s happy. The other three see him dramatically coming down slowly to land next to them and quickly gather around him. “I saw him! I even tried to defeat him! Meta-Knight!” The three quickly gasp and Kirby pulls Luigi down to eye-level. “WHERE AT!?” He screams in his face. “Up on the bridge! I took out several elite soldiers-I could tell the were elite by their armor and their size-and then I mistook him for one. We fought with blast after blast from me, but deflected every single blast! I came back here to tell you!”
Kirby lets go of Luigi and turns away from the group. He takes a few steps forward for dramatic effect. “I thought so. I hoped not, but he has gotten stronger. He couldn’t ever deflect even an arrow when I last defeaed his ship. That’s why the ship was so easy to take control of. Thanks to Luigi here that is.” Luigi ‘shucks’ and rubs the back of his head. “It was so easy, because he was focusing on his power, not his ship’s. Apparently, I will need help for this battle.” He turns around to face the group again. “So, will you help me?”
They look at each other, then nod in agreement in unison. “Of course we will!” yells out Mario.
“Very good. Let’s be off then! TO THE BRIDGE!”
“YEAH!” Everyone yells in unison again.
So, they valiantly fight through hordes of foes, each more easy than the last, until they reached the Bridge. That’s where the big boys came out to play. Mario took them out one by one. When it came to the plasma wisps, Fox and Falco take them out with their blasters. The others, Kirby took care of. Luigi just stood back watching. Good thing too, because he would need all of his strength for the final battle. Later, up on the bridge before the five arrive…
“Soon. Very soon, I will finally defeat Kirby the Star Warri-“
“MISTER META-KNIGHT SIR!” yells a Waddle-Dee who just came in.
“HOLY SHI-! JEFF! Be careful! Don’t startle me like that! I just about pulled my sword on you! Be more careful!”
“Sorry Sir! But, it’s the troops Sir. Thanks to the ‘Green Thunder’-that’s what the troops are calling him-most of the troops from main weapon deck 3 and after are defeated! We cannot hole them back much longer!”
“No matter. Bring them to me. I will-“
A loud BOOM fills the entire bridge.
Meta-Knight calmly looks over to Jeff, and asks, “What was that?”
Jeff is very terrified now. “It was the reactor I’m afraid Sir!”
“Yes, and wasn’t it YOUR job to guard it?”
Jeff starts to shake. “Y-y-yes S-sir, it w-w-was…”
“And didn’t it just” he turns and explodes in anger and volume “EXPLODE!?”
Jeff yelps and turns for the door. He keeps running until he touches the door handle. His wheezing of fear stops. It’s completely silent. His hand drops suddenly from the door. We see his face of fear and pain as he slowly stoops downward. His knees hit the floor first, then his body, then his head. Then we see Meta-Knights sword in Jeff’s head! Meta-Knight walks over to the now bloody pool of a Waddle-Dee. “Stupid little thing.” He says while he pulls his sword out. “Good thing they’re replaceable!” he laughs maniacally while cleaning his sword.
“There! I’m finally done! A new world existing of only video game characters!” says a mysterious ominous looking figure. “Yes sir! Very fine! A very fine world indeed sir!” A hunchbacked fellow in his mid-30’s or so says this to the mysterious man. “But, what if they rebel sir?” “Don’t worry E-Gore, they won’t. Besides, even if they did, my right hand will stop them. GO!” He throws his right hand into the swirling black and blue vortex onto a small arena-like platform. “Make sure that if any rebel, that you stop them in their tracks once they reach you! Be careful though, Master Hand, you may create other beings to mimic them if need be, but do not under-estimate them! Especially not that fat red plumber! His little brother you can easily deal with, but be careful of Mario! Now, go, fulfill your destiny!” Master Hand makes an “A-OK” sign with his fingers, and heads off into the vortex, leaving behind him a trail of blue sparkling particles. “But sir, what if Mario rebels along with everyone else?” “That won’t happen. I’ve made sure of it. I put them each into different worlds, only Mario and Luigi are living in the same area. They are our only true threat.” “Very perspective, sir! Very good!” “I know E-Gore, I know.” He begins to laugh evilly. E-Gore looks cautiously at his master’s left hand and only hand left. “Uh, sir? What about him?” He points to his left hand. “Oh yeah! I almost forgot all about him! Crazy Hand, destroy everything that Master Hand creates and forgets about. That way, he won’t get too powerful and overthrow me. GO! And follow him! But make sure not to be spotted!” He throws his left hand into the swirling vortex, and like Master Hand, he too, goes away. However his trail is of black and red, and he seems to twitch quite frequently. “E-Gore!!!” “Yes sir?” E-Gore creeps closer to his master. “Yes master?” “Make sure that they don’t get too out of control. Watch over them, and report to me periodically. If you need something, there’s food and soda in the fridge. Oh! Also, there are emergency numbers next to the phone. The number in green is my number.” “What do you mean sir?” E-Gore looked over to his master. “I mean, I’m leaving. I’m going away. I’m taking a vacation. I’m hitting the road.” “What do you mean, master?” “I mean, watch over them for me while I replenish my energy!” “Aye-aye sir!” E-Gore salutes his master while saying this. His master then leaves in a dark light. A black light envelopes the mysterious man, and within moments, he is gone. “I’ve always wondered how he does that. It’s pretty damn cool! Now, on to watching the carnage unfold.” E-Gore turns to the portal which now shows a toy box. He watches as Master Hand hovers past all of these places, placing polygons that resemble the soon-to-be warriors of the Toybox, and they hide and watch over the warriors to be. Crazy Hand, following Master Hand, destroys some of these polygons when they seemed too numerous to C.H. He simply laughs maniacally and follows behind M.H. “This is going along quite nicely. Master Seisho, you will come to admire your hands more than you do now; treating them like crap on a daily basis. You will come to love them. Even if it means I have to take matters into my own hands and create my own havoc for Master Hand to stop! I will unleash Mario! He will fight his way to stop the hands, and in doing so, will reach Master Hand, fight him, be defeated, and Master will be so pleased with M.H.! I must do it.”
“Hey Luigi! What’s happening?”
“Hang on a moment! The question is about to be asked.”
A few long moments pass by and…
“It says ‘What is the name of the princess that people sometimes mistake for a tanned Princess Peach?’ Isn’t it obvious?”
“Yeah, it’s Daisy isn’t it?”
“Yeah. It is. Oh hang on! He’s guessing now!”
“Hey how many lifelines does he have left?”
“He’s still got phone a friend left but that’s it. He’s made it this far, he’s only got two questions left after this. I think he’s gonna make it! The first Toad to win a million dollars on a game show! This is so exciting!”
Luigi’s attention now returns to the TV.
“Is that your final answer?”
“Y-yes. Final answer.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m sure.”
Ba-da-dummmmm…
“I’m sorry Ted, but that’s incorrect.”
Crowd “awwwsss” in dispair.
“Well then, what was the right answer?”
“It was-“
“Luigi, what happened? I don’t hear the TV anymore.”
“I paused it. You have got to see this. His Final answer is hilarious!”
The water turns off, followed by the radio that was playing in the restroom. “I’m coming! Don’t play it yet!”
“Don’t worry bro. I won’t.”
Mario comes running out of the bathroom, panting, and says “What is it?”
“Check this out man, check out what he guessed.”
Luigi then rewinds the DVR and hits play when the question is first said.
“Ok Ted, your eighth question. Two more after this one, and you win 1,000,000 dollars!”
“I know I know I know! I don’t need any more pressure thank you!”
“Alright. Your next question: ‘What is the name of the Princess that people often mistake for a tanned Princess Peach?’ Is it: A-Princess Plum; B-Princess Rosalina; C-Princess Daisy; D-Mario?”
“That’s a hard one. Uhh… Is it…D?”
“Is that your final answer?”
“Y-yes it is.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am sure.”
Luigi pauses the show. Mario stares at the TV in disbelief. “Did he just say-that I look like a tanned Peach?!”
“Yeah, he did! Can you believe it?!” Luigi starts to roll around the floor laughing hard.
“It’s not funny Luigi… It’s not that funny.”
“ARE YOU KIDDING?! It’s hilarious!” He continues to roll around bursting into tears.
Mario watches Luigi rolling aroud on the floor. He says nothing.
“What’s the matter Mario-oh, I mean, Daisy?” Luigi laughs even harder and starts to gasp for air.
“I hope you choke on your own laughter Luigi. If you need me, I’ll be in our room.” Mario then storms up the stairs towards their rooms.
“Hey, Daisy, are you going to powder your nose and put on your make-up now?”
Mario slams the room door, hearing Luigi start hacking and coughing. “Dang bastard. Always crackin jokes at other people’s expense. I hope he gets a taste of his own medicine soon.”
Then, suddenly, there is a loud thump on the roof. Only Mario seems to have heard it.
“Hey Luigi? Was that you?”
“Was what me?”
“That loud thump. I heard a really loud thump like sound on the roof.”
“Then how could it had been me? I’m in the living room!”
Mario begins to respond, but then, the thump happens again but even louder. :OK seriously! How are you not hearing that!”
“I heard it just now! What the Hell was that?!”
“I’ll go check it out. You wait here.”
“NO WAY MAN! YOU ALWAYS CHECK IT OUT! This time I’M checking it out!”
Mario stares at his little brother in shock. “What? Really?”
“Yeah. You stay here.”
Luigi leaves and leaves Mario’s jaw still on the floor, and runs back inside almost immediately after going out.
“Mario! You have got to see this!”
Mario rushes out, wondering what it could be. Was Bowser attacking his house? Was Peach there? Was it Rosalina butt-naked on their lawn pretending to be a dog? Whatever it was, he just HAD to see.
Mario stands next to Luigi who is looking up into the sky, pointing in fear, unmoving, resembling Hammy the Squirrel, going “Scary Hand”. Mario looks up where Luigi is pointing, and notices a White Glove just flying by, dropping human-shaped purple things.
“Luigi, what do you think thoses things are?”
“Scary Hand…”
“Hey Luigi, you alright?”
“Scary Hand…”
Mario moves in front of Luigi who looks down at him and says “Scary Naked Man!” Mario looks down, and finally realizes that he forgot to put on his towel when he got out of the shower. “Oops…”
“That’s not the scariest thing. Mario, look behind you.”
“Yes Luigi, I know I’m naked, now stop it ok-“
“NO! REALLY! Look right behind you!”
Mario turns, and sees the purple things, twist and turning into the shape of him! “What the Hell?!” There are two of them. One is taller than the other one, while the first one is fatter than the second one.
“Uh…Mario? I think they are us…”
“Don’t be ridiculous Luigi. They can’t be us, because we are us. Now how would that be-“
Before he can even finish his sentence, his right arm gets burned by a green fireball.
“WHAT?!”
“I told you! They’re us! How else would he be able to use a green fireball?!”
“Good point. How is that-“
boink!
“Ow! Stop that!”
“Mario, I don’t think they are going to stop.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Turn around.”
Mario turns, and goes flying back towards Luigi. Before he does, he only saw a purple fist right in front of his face.
“Luigi.”
“Yeah?”
“Get ready to fight!”
Mario gets up and poses, ready to fight, but notices that Luigi is already beaten his double.
“Hey, Mario, they are really easy to defeat!”
“What? Seriously?”
“Yeah! Watch this!”
Luigi punches Mario’s double who flies into a wall of their house. It falls down, rubbing it’s head.
“Luigi! Dibs!”
Mario runs over to the double, and vertically headbutts it. It goes flying up so high, that it becomes a star, and twinkles.
“Wow. They are easy to beat.”
“I told you s-“
“GAME SET!”
Mario and Luigi look around, wondering where the voice came from.
“Who said that?! Show yourself!”
“YOU CAN SIMPLY CALL ME GAMER! I AM YOUR FOLLOWER, IN A WAY.”
“Oooo-kaaayyyyy…Did you follow any of that Luigi?”
“Yeah. He’s gonna follow us as we go on an adventure to save the Mushroom Kingdom.”
“NOT ONLY THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM, BUT THE ENTIRE TOYBOX YOU LIVE IN!”
“Wait, the what?”
“Did he just say ‘Toybox’?”
“YES I DID. THAT’S WHERE YOU ARE AT NOW! YOU SEE, YOU ARE JUST AN EXACT COPY OF THE REAL MARIO AND LUIGI. EVERYONE YOU WILL MEET, WILL JOIN YOUR TEAM WHEN YOU BEAT THEM. FOX, PEACH, KIRBY, AND EVEN-“
“Wait, did you just say Peach?”
“YEAH, EVERYBODY FROM JIGGLYPUFF TO BOWSER, MARTH TO LINK, ZELDA TO PEACH, YOU NAME ‘EM, THEY’RE PROBABLY GONNA BE ON YOUR PATH. BUT DON’T WORRY, ONCE YOU BEAT THEM, THE SPELL WILL WEAR OFF, AND THEY WILL REGAIN THEIR MIND CONTROL.”
“So, in other words, we will be saving worlds just by fighting those things?”
“No Luigi. We’re gonna have to fight the REAL deals. It’ll be tough, but we can do it! So where to first Gamer?”
“THAT’S UP TO YOU. BUT, YOU HAVE TO GO IN ORDER. FIRST UP, IT’S FOX AND FALCO.”
“Hey Luigi, ever heard of them?”
“No. This would be the first time. Do you think that we can take them?”
“Oh don’t be such a worry-Wart Luigi! We can do this easy!”
“Yeah, but what about that Hand we saw?”
“YOU SAW MASTER HAND?! WHERE DID HE GO?!”
“You know it? What is it?”
“IT’S A HAND OF THE ALMIGHTY SHINU-JENSEI! IT CAN CREATE ANYTHING! EVEN OTHER MARIO’S FOR YOU TO FIGHT! THE MORE THERE ARE, THE WEAKER THEY ARE THOUGH.”
“Wait, one of his hands? What about the other one?”
“THE OTHER ONE, IS CRAZY HAND. HE DESTROYS WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANTS. JUST HOPE YOU DON’T RUN INTO HIM. AND HE IS AS HANDSOME AS PRINCE FREAKING CHARMING!”
“I got it. Master Hand creates, while Crazy Hand destroys.”
“EXACTLY.”
“Then Mario, maybe we oughta get going!”
Mario is over at the flower bed beside the house watering his Fire-Flowers. He looks over to Luigi. “Right.”
Suddenly, a chest as big as Luigi lands right in fromt of them. Mario opens the chest, pulls out a map, and the tune frome Zelda: Ocarina of Time plays.
Mario says “what the?”
Luigi-“I don’t even know.”
“YOUR WELCOME. IT’S A GIFT FROM ME. IT’LL TAKE YOU TO YOUR FIRST DESTINATION. YOUR FIRST TWO TARGETS ARE FOX AND FALCO. AFTER THEM, YOU NEED TO TAKE OUT NESS, KIRBY, BOWSER, JIGGLY PUFF WITH PIKACHU AND MEWTWO, AND LASTLY, MASTER HAND HIMSELF.”
“Wow. So much for choosing our own paths, huh?”
“Just shut up Luigi. We gotta get going.”
Suddenly, the map starts to glow a deep blue, and opens a portal which then, sucks up the two of them. The next thing they know, they are in space. Luigi starts to gag and choke, while Mario seems very calm.
“Uh, Luigi?”
Luigi is a bit busy choking.
“Luigi! Just breath!”
Luigi then says, while gagging, “I can’t! we’re out in space!”
“Then how am I breathing?”
“What?”
“JUST BREATHE YOU IDIOT!”
Luigi takes in a deep breath all loony, and then realizes that he can breathe.
Luigi seems very confused. He turns to Mario and says “how is this possible?”
Mario is also a bit confused. He, however, is more curious than anything else. How did that map do that? And how did that chest come out of absolutely nowhere? And most of all, how did-
Mario’s thoughts are interrupted by a british or English accented voice. “You are in restricted air-space! Turn back now!”
Mario looks around. Turns to Luigi, and says, “Who said that?”
Luigi shrugs.
“I did.”
Mario and Luigi look around. Finally, after a few moments of silence, Luigi says “we don’t see you. Show yourself you coward!”
Mario’s shocked by his brother’s words. “LUIGI!!! I apolagize for my brother’s behavior. But, where are we anyway?”
A different voice pipes into the conversation. “Sorry, but that’s classified. I’m afraide that we must take you into custody.”
Mario gasps softly. “What?”
The british/English voice takes over again. This time it’s talking to the second voice. “All right Falco, take them in.”
An Arwing approaches the Super Cosmos Brothers, and activates a beam of green light. It’s a tractor-beam. It takes them over to the Star Fox. Luigi begins to panic. “Where are they taking us?! Mario I’m scared stiff! I wanna go home!”
Mario shakes his head in disbelief. “Luigi, stop being such a chicken.”
“WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!” Screams a voice from the Arwing. “DID YOU JUST CALL ME A CHICKEN? A CHICKEN OF ALL THINGS?!”
Mario looks up toward the Arwing and sees a blue bird at it’s controls. “I wasn’t talk-“
“He wasn’t talking to you bird-boy, he was talking to me!” yells Luigi.
“Luigi. Again, please shut up.”
“But-“ he stammers.
“BUT NOTHING!” Mario begins to whisper now. “Remember GAMER told us that Fox and Falco were our first opponents? They must be them!”
The blue bird-like creature leans over in the cockpit to look down at Mario and Luigi. “How do you know our names?”
The Arwing comes up to the Star Fox. “We were told them by GAMER.”
Fox comes over in his Arwing and pairs up with the blue bird. “Hey Falco! He must be the one!”
“No way, there’s two of them.”
“How else would he know the name Gamer?”
Falco scratches his beak, thinking. He finally realizes the predicament of their current situation. “Should we take them to her? She would know for certain…”
Fox seems to turn red in the face when ‘she’ was mentioned. He starts to reply, but his voice cracks slightly. He clears his throat, and says “Falco, switch over to the comlink.”
Falco nods and does so. Fox resumes his previous sentence. “No way! She’s on vacation now, remember? Besides…we kinda had an argument the other day and-“
Falco screams into the communicator on his helmet. “AGAIN?! Jeez Fox! That’s the fifth time this week! And it’s only Tuesday!” Falco laughs a little at his own little funny. Fox didn’t seem too amused. “That’s beside the point! Just take them onto the Star Fox.”
“Alright, alright, alright. Fine.” He heads over to the ship that’s about as big as Bowser’s ship from Paper Mario.
Fox stops him about halfway. “I’ll catch up with you later.”
Falco turns his head in the cockpit towards Fox’s Arwing. “Wait. You mean that you’re going again?” He groans.”…Fine. See ya on board later, I suppose.”
Falco takes Mario and Luigi on board, and Fox stays outside and starts patrolling. Once Falco is out of sight and on board the Star Fox, he hits his boosters and heads off into the distance.
Back on board with Falco, Mario, and Luigi, Falco is keeping an eye on both of them. They are in the guest room. They have been talking non-stop about their friends back home and about Peach and Daisy.
About ten minutes pass by.
Falco can’t take another moment of their constant chatter. “WILL YOU BOTH JUST SHUT UP!? Who cares about your Princess Plum and the Toadstool Kingdom?! Who cares about your Princess Dainty and Sarasaland?! Just shut the he** up!”
Luigi jumps and looks in shock at Falco. Mario is just startled. Then Luigi says to Mario “I think maybe we might’ve made him angry.”
Mario says sarcastically, “Wow Luigi, really? You think so?”
Falco just continues to watch the Super Mario Bros. with major suspicion. “Where did you guys say you were from again?” he growls. He’s still a little angry from their non-stop talking.
Mario is the first to respond. “We’re from-“
“Get on with it!” Falco yells impatiently.
Mario flinches. Falco glares at him. Luigi continues for Mario. “We are from, like we were saying earlier, the Mushroom Kingdom. And there we are known as Mario and Luigi; the Super Mario Bros. We help rescue royal families and their friends. Some are toads, people with mushroom heads, and some are from as far away as space.”
“Explain the space people.” Falco quickly asks, with a slight glint in his eye.
Mario takes over. “Princess Rosalina. Ever heard of her?”
Falco shakes his head. “No. I haven’t.”
Luigi asks almost immediately after Falco is done “So what about you and that dog? What’s your deal?”
Falco says angrily at Luigi “HE IS NO DOG! HE IS A FOX!”
Luigi cowers slightly at Falco’s heightened voice. He recovers quite quickly, to Mario’s surprise, and then Luigi continues. “You didn’t have to scream! It was just a simple question!”
Falco breathes in and out to calm down. A few moments later, Falco resumes. “I am Falco. And that ‘dog’ of which you speak, I assume you mean Fox. There’s also Slippy, but he’s not all that important. Not as much anyway…Then there’s Krystal, Fox’s girlfriend.”
Luigi whistles. Then he whispers to Mario “Wow. A lot of characters in this world, huh?” Mario nods in agreement.
Falco looks over to Luigi. “What was that?”
“Huh? Oh nothing.”
Falco looks Luigi over, and turns back to Mario. “Now, tell me some more about your girlfriend. Peach, I believe you called her?”
Mario blushes slightly and turns away from Falco. “Well, you see, we…umm…we-uhh…”
Luigi interrupts. “What he is trying to say is, they have never gone out on a date but they still seem very close. Most say, closer than just boy and girlfriends. Personally, I agree with them.”
Mario blushes so hard that you can’t tell where the head stops and the hat starts. “Luigi, you’re not helping!”
“What? He asked and you weren’t answering. Anyone would’ve done that if they knew about you and the Princess.”
Faclo lounges back into the couch trying to absorb all of this information. He starts thinking. If what they just said is true, then we just got done capturing heroes from way out of town. He looks down to the Mario Bros. “Oh man. I apolagize for my behavior earlier, Mario Bros., we didn’t know we were taking into custody heroes like us.”
Mario hears this and asks “What do you mean like us? You mean you and Fox?”
“No. I mean like me and freakin’ Slippy. YES ME AND FOX!”
Lui9gi jumps again at Falco yelling. “Sorry man! Jeez! Short tempered aren’t you?”
Falco stares at Luigi in silent anger.
Luigi continues talking. “Why aren’t you responding?”
Mario looks over to his brother. “Luigi, why not just leave him alone. We’re guests (kind of) and must act as such. That’s manners. And maybe some courtesy too.”
“Fine. Just one more question.”
Falco wonders what it is. “Shoot.”
“Where did Fox go anyway?”
Falco doesn’t answer.
“Luigi, just leave him alone” Mario says sympathetically.
“Well, where’d he go? Why don’t you answer?”
Mario gets a bit p’d off by being ignored. “Luigi! Quit being a jack@$$!”
“Mario, stop it! Using such language in the presence of an officer of the Law! Now answer me Falco, why don’t you tell us?”
“Because” Falco finally says.
“Because why?”
“Because it’s classified.”
“Obviously not for you though.”
“Because I work with Fox which gives me certain
privaleges.”
“How does that work?”
“It just does.”
“But why?”
“Because it does.”
Luigi continues being a jack@$$ asking yet again “Why?”
Falco yells “Because shut up! It’s classified, so just shut up about it!”
Luigi gets a bit more ticked by this reaction. “No, YOU shut up!”
“I am in charge here now you shut up!”
“No one’s the boss of me except Princess Daisy! Especially not an overgrown talking pidgeon who thinks he’s a bad@$$.”
Falco’s feathers turn purple form rage. “I AM A BAD@$$ FOR YOUR INFORMATION!”
“Prove it! Fight me!”
Mario just stays back and watches the two go back and forth. “This won’t end well.”
A voice next to Mario’s left responds “Sure doesn’t look like it. But, out of curiosity, who do you think would win?”
“My Brother definitely. Why do you ask?”
“Because Falco is really tough. Maybe even tougher than Fox.”
“Oh? And how would you be able to tell that?” Mario says this while turning to face the talking person. He sees, at first, just a gun holser with a black pistol in it. He looks up, and sees a Fox with sci-fi headgear like Falco’s is staring right at him. Mario then just stares at him. “Wait, aren’t you…”
“Yes, I’m Fox. You have already met Falco as I can see, but have you met Slippy yet?”
Mario remains silent, but manages to shake his head no.
“Good, ‘cause I don’t know if you would want to. He’s a bit eccentric-if you catch my drift.”
Mario snaps out of his little fit and says “So why would Falco win?”
“He’s a strong fighter, that’s why.”
“Well Luigi is strong too. Overall I’m better though, but he is a tough opponent to beat. Even for me, and I’m his twin brother. I know all of his weaknesses, and it still takes me several tries just to hit him at all. That’s why I think he would win.”
“Well, I guess we won’t get to find out then.”
“WHAT?” Mario whips his head around to Fox. “Why do you say that?”
Fox points to the two feuding “2nd best” people. They are shaking hands.
“Hey Mario! I’m better!”
“But you didn’t even battle!”
“Yeah we did” says Falco, holding up a chessboard. “He’s better at Chess than I am. He was a good opponent! Even better than Fox is!”
“That’s because you always lose against me.”
“Exactly. This time, I actually came very close!”
Luigi approaches Mario and Fox. “So, where’d you get off to?”
Falco repeats himself saying that it was classified.
“I don’t care what it is! I wanna know!”
Fox walks up to Luigi. “Well, if you must know, I went on patrol for Wolf.”
Mario and Luigi both look at Fox and ask in unison “Who?”
Fox seems shocked by their response. “You don’t know Wolf?! You’re not from around here, are you?”
In unison: “Nope!”
Falco approaches to Fox and says “I just found that out not too long ago.”
“I see. Any clue who they are?”
“They are The Super Mario Bros. from the Mushroom Kingdom. They haven’t explained much, but that’s what I know in a nutshell.”
“The Super Mario Bros. huh? Never heard of them.”
“I haven’t even heard of the Mushroom Kingdom. Should we believe them sir?”
“I don’t know. For now, I suppose. We’ll constantly monitor them though.”
Later…
Fox is on a video phone with Luigi watching in the background.
“So how is your vacation Krystal?”
“It’s wonderful! I really needed this vay-cay! Thanks a bunch Fox!”
“Your welcome. Now-“
“But who is the green guy behind you?”
Before Fox could even answer, Luigi pushes him aside and replies for him. “I am Luigi Mario of the Mushroom Kingdom! An you are apparently this Krystal person that Fox talks about all the time in his sleep!”
Upon hearing this, Fox blushes slightly and Krystal giggles. “Oh really? Is that true Fox? Do you dream about me?” She starts to giggle louder. Sadly, Fox is stunned and can’t answer. He can’t believe that Luigi actually said that in front of him during a live connection!
“Don’t worry, you don’t have to answer” Krystal says after several quiet seconds. “I understand. So, Luigi,”
“Yes, Krystal?”
“Do me a favor would you?”
“Of course! What is it?”
“Watch over Fox for me. He can get into such troublesome predicaments you know!”
“Yeah. Got it!”
“Thank you Luigi!” She gives him a kiss through the video screen. Fox gets a little jealous. “Bye-bye now Foxxy, and be careful!” She hangs up. The screen flashes “CONNECTION LOST” and Fox gets over to the screen and turns it off. He turns and glares at Luigi who flinches.
“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”
“I just wanted to say ‘hi’ to the pretty fox…”
“Well, don’t be getting any ideas.”
“Don’t worry ‘Foxxy’, I won’t.”
Fox growls at Luigi. Then growls out “and why not?”
“Because I already have a special girl at home.”
Almost immediately, Fox’s attitude changes. “Who is it? Come on, tell me!”
“Her name is Daisy. She’s a princess of another kingdom in a parallel universe to me and Mario’s. The kingdom’s name is Sarasaland. And she-“
Fox interrupts. “Parrallel universe? What planet are you from anyway?”
“Earth. Why?”
Fox stiffens up. He seems a little shocked-scared even. “I-I’ll be right back. Hang on.” He runs out of the room. “Huh, I wonder what got into him?” Luigi is confused about this sudden change in Fox. “Eh, maybe it’s about Krystal. I better follow him.” Luigi gets up and begins to tail Fox (pun intended) until Fox stops just outside a door. Earlier, Luigi tried to open the door but it seemed impossible. Fox’s ears perk up. Luigi hides behind a corner of the hallway, just as Fox turns his head around to look behind him. Fox’s guard drops a bit and he whispers something to the door. Luigi begins to tail him again just as the door starts to close. What is inside, Luigi cannot even begin to fathom was possible!
Luigi follows Fox into the room. It’s all dark except for a single round platform in the center. Luigi doesn’t see Fox anywhere. So he approaches the platform. Then, he’s grabbed from behind and hears somebody whisper in his ear: “Reveal thy name!” Luigi begins to cower but gulps it down. He then realizes that it’s Falco’s voice.
“FALCO! Why did you scare me like that?! What the hell-“
“SSHHH! Be quiet you green buffoon! Or we’ll get caught!” Luigi, confused, stupidly asks “what?”
Falco ignores him and drags him into a dark passageway towards his left. Luigi still struggling, asks “what the hell are you doing to me?!”
“Will you shut up! He’s coming back!”
Luigi, still confused, just looks up at Falco. Then sees that he’s pointing towards the round platform. It started glowing a purplish color. In it’s center, one of those polygons appear. Luigi begins to gasp, but Falco covers his mouth with his hands/wings. Luigi begins to understand at this point. Then, without warning, the polygon starts to glow a orange and white coloration. It starts to morph. Luigi just watches in horror as it becomes an exact replica of the Fox he thought he knew! It then leaves the room, leaving Falco and Luigi in the room alone.
Luigi looks back up to Falco and says “Hey Falco?”
Falco looks down. “What?”
“You can let go of me now.”
Falco gasps and sort of throws Luigi to the side. “Sorry! I didn’t mean-I…uh…I mean that-I’m not-“
“Never mind that now! We need to find the real Fox and rescue him!”
Falco breathes our a sigh of relief. “Where do you think we should start?”
Luigi ponders this for a little while. He paces the floor in front of Falco for what seemed like hours. Falco lies down on the floor waiting for Luigi to respond. Eventually, he falls asleep. Then…
“I’VE GOT IT!” Luigi screams, awaking Falco.
Falco puts his hand/wing over Luigi’s mouth quickly. He whispers loudly “YOU IDIOT! Do you want the polygon things to know we’re here?!”
Luigi kind of droops down in emotional distress.
Falco feels a little bad for the little guy. “So, uh, what was your plan?”
Luigi almost immediately looks back up and starts to reveal his plan. “Well first we…” We start to zoom out of the scene, slowly fading out to black, while Luigi continues revealing his plan in silence to us, while Falco continuesly nods his head. A few moments pass by, and then we come back up to Luigi who is stopped by Falco.
“I didn’t get any of that.”
Luigi sighs in disbelief. “Long story short, I want to tell Mario.”
“Oh. Ok, that’s cool.”
Finally fade out to black.
Meanwhile, back with Mario, he’s sipping on some coffee to keep himself awake. We see Luigi and Falco come up to him. Luigi starts to say that they have something to tell him, but is interrupted by Mario.
“Do not even start it with me bub. I’m not in the mood.”
Luigi jumps back in surprise at his brothers’ foul mood. “What’s wrong with you?! I have something very important to tell you! Just listen to th-“
“SHUT UP FAKER! I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE!”
Both Luigi and Falco jump back in surprise. Falco is the first to speak. “Huh? What are you talking about Mario?”
“They think I am gonna fall for it twice? How dumb do they think I am? Seriously, just how stupid do they think I am?!”
Luigi slowly takes a couple steps towards his seemingly crazy nuthouse of a brother. “:Mario? Who are you talking about?”
“Don’t play that coy little game with me! I know what you really are!”
Falco, a little bit ticked now, says “whatever you’re on Mario, you need to listen to me. You are on the Star Fox and my name is Falco. This here, is your brother Luigi. You are from the Mushroom Kingdom. You were taken here by me and Fox who both thought you were evil. And-“
“LIES! ALL LIES! QUIT GETTING INTO MY HEAD!”
Luigi looks over to Falco. “Hey, uh, I think he’s finally snapped. All those mushrooms must have-“
Mario stand up while Luigi is saying this. Then he interrupts saying “No. You don’t understand do you? You have tried to kill me twice now. Damn polygons. You won’t get me this time! Never trick Mario twice and think you can trick him again!”
Luigi seems scared. “What are you talking about Mario?”
“I mean, you think you can pose off as Luigi and Falco, come in here, get my guard down, and try to kill me?! No chance this time! Bring it on polygons!” Mario gets up and charges toward the two, fists a-blazing with the FireBrand. Luigi, instinctively, counters with the ThunderHand, shocking Mario into stopping in his tracks.
Mario shakes his head to bring himself to. “How did-how did you use that technique?! Polygons can only copy abilities to a certain extent, but that was a fully charged jab!” Mario gets up off the floor and walks over to Luigi and Falco who is still ready to fight off Mario in case he tries a dirty move. “Luigi, is that really you?”
Luigi yells “FINALLY! You recognize me! It took you this long? I’m appalled by you Mario!” Luigi starts laughing now, while Mario goes over to Falco. “So, I take it you are the real Falco then?”
“Duh” he says with a bit of attitude toward Mario.
“I can tell that now” Mario says with attitude to counter Falco. He turns to Luigi. “So, why are you here anyway? Last time I saw you Luigi was when you took off to talk with Fox in the galley.”
Luigi stops smiling and his expression turns serious. “That Fox was an imposter Mario. As soon as I mentioned he kinda twitched, not like he normally does, and he said that he’ll be right back. I was curious why he was acting that way, so I followed him to a room that I tried to open once before. He opened it with some kind of a key I’ve never seen before, but with us being in outer space with talking birds and foxes, I didn’t think twice. I followed him in, and I lost him then and there. I started to look around, and there was this big glowing blue platform in the middle of the room. I started to head over to it, but that’s when Falco pulled me over and into the corner. He covered my mouth to silence me, and he pointed over to the platform after a few moments of agitated silence, and I saw it. One of those polygons we fought at our house before we came here. They were easy for us to beat, but it was two on two. They were twice as easy to beat. This time, though, it’s just one. So we have to-“
Falco interrupts. “Wait. You mean to tell me that you’ve fought these things before? At your place? In a different dimension? Obviously, this is something beyond our power alone to control.”
Mario and Luigi lood at Falco, then each other, and then they both start glaring at Falco who jumps back in shock. “What? Was it something I said?”
Mario starts toward Falco, who starts to back away. Luigi runs back behind him, and blocks his way out. “What’s going on here? What is the meaning of this? What are you doing?” Falco starts saying in a scared frenzy. “Mario dramatically approaches Falco from the front, and says that he’s not the real Falco. “What do you mean I’m not the real Falco? Of course I am! Are you nuts?!” Mario grabs Falco’s vest and pulls him down to Mario’s eyes where eye-contact is met. “UNHAND ME AT ONCE!”
Mario stares deeply into Falco’s eyes, and he punches Falco into a wall. Falco goes unconscious. We blackout with him.
Falco’s eyes begin to flutter open, and we see what he sees too. We’re in a pitch-black room. “Where…where am I? What happened?...Wait…Now I remember. I was attacked by the Mario Bros. They must be polygons. I’ve got to warn Fox!” He begins to get up, but can’t move. “What the…?” He looks down. His eyes begin to adjust to the darkness. He notices that he is tied up by roap. “What in the sam hill is going on here?!” he yells.
“Perhaps that’s what you should be telling us you beg blue chicken.”
“What?! Who’s there?! Show yourself! Stop hiding!”
A different voice starts talking. “You were right my brother, he is an imposter. Good call!”
“Ok, seriously, this isn’t funny! Somebody turn on the lights!”
clap-clap
The lights turn on in a bright flash.Falco flinches, and waits for his eyes to adjust. What he sees makes him gasp in horror! The Mario Bros.! “YOU?! YOU did this to me?! Why?!”
Mario looks over to Luigi and whispers “He is a persistent one, isn’t he?” Luigi looks over to Mario and whispers back “Yes he is. The final test now?” Mario nods in agreement. They both look back to Falco and untie him.
“Well it’s about time you hooligans! Why was I tied up anyway?!”
“You should know you imposter!” Mario screamed to Falco.
“ME?! What about YOU?! Huh?! YOU attacked ME, remember?! Why would I be the imposter?”
Luigi slaps Falco. Falco looks surprise at Luigi for doing something so bold. “Wh-What did you-aagghhh! Never mind that. What are you doing to me? I’m no imposter! You guys know me!”
Mario walks over and slaps Falco also. His hurt Falco a lot more than Luigi’s. “Because we already told you everything that happened to us before you abducted us in your Arwing, including the polygon fight that we had! Yet, you asked us why we didn’t tell you that. Now answer me this…” Falco gulps. “…why would we have to tell you that information twice? You said, in your little monolougue when you first brought us aboard, that you remember everything that ever happened to you since the 3rd grade. Now, how could you forget something so easily?” Falco remains silent; staring at Mario in horror. Or so they think, it’s kinda hard to tell a bird’s emotions by their face alone, you know… “Answer me Falco.” Mario says nice and calm. Falco remains silent still. A bit louder “Answer me.” Falco open his beak to respond but nothing comes out. “I said ANSWER ME FALCO! OR I’LL CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF AND LET YOUR BODY RUN AROUND LIKE A CHICKEN!!!” Falco ‘eeps’ when he hears this and starts to tear up. Yes, tear up. Tears. Crying. Sadness. Etc. “ALRIGHT! Alright! Alright! I’ll tell you. I was sent along with the Fox polygon to watch over you in this dimension, and obviously, we failed.” Luigi walks over now. “What about the Fox and Falco we first met? Were they the real ones?” “Yes. Yes they were. We got here only about the time that you did. It’s hard to steer in space you know! Especially when you have no ship to steer with!”
Mario walks qround the chair that Falco was tied in. He walks back toward Falco polygon calmly. “So, you ARE the polygon of Falco?”
“Hey Mario? Don’t do anything drastic.” “Don’t worry Luigi, he’s gonna get the just desserts he deserves…” Mario walks over to Falco polygon and prepares a fiery powerful punch. When he throws it towards Falco, he flinches. His eyes close. He waits the contact of the punch. He waits…and waits…ans waits…he opens his eyes and notices that the fist is now an open palm. In it is a locator with a “Super Smash Bros” symbol on it. “What in the…?” Luigi looks shocked too. “What are you doing Mario? Finish him already!”
Mario looks up towards the Falco polygon and says “Want to join our team Falco?” Luigi’s jaw drops to the floor. Falco seems very confused. “…what…did you just say?” “I said, want to join our team? We could use you and Fox both on the team to save the worlds, and you seem like a very good fighter. So, Falco, what do you say?”
Luigi screams at his brother “WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?! HE’S A POLYGON!”
“No, he’s not Luigi.” Luigi comes over to Mario and Falco still screaming. “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!? HE IS TOO A POLYGON! YOU SAID SO YOURSELF!!!” “He’s not a polygon Luigi, he’s was testing us for our tales of being heroes. He was testing us to see if we were polygons.” Luigi’s jaw drops again. Much louder this time. “Isn’t that right, Falco?”
Falco just stares at Mario. Then looks at Luigi, jaw still on the floor staring at Mario, then he looks back to Mario. He remains silen and unmoving for several minutes. Then, “Are you sure you can trust what I say to you? He still thinks of me as a polygon. Will he attack me depending on what I say?”
Mario glances over at Luigi, than says “Yes. It’ll depend on what you say, but I will hold him back.”
“Very well then.” He looks over to Luigi then says “Yes. It was all a hoax. I was testing yoy, as you previously stated. Very good Mario,” Falco starts chuckling and clapping his hands/wings, “very good indeed. How did you figure it out? I must know.”
Mario sits down at a table nearby. “It was rather easy, ,actually. After I attacked you, I noticed you just standing there unmoving. I wondered why you wouldn’t attack me along with Luigi, then I had it. You weren’t a polygon. Otherwise, you sould’ve attacke me along with Luigi.”
Luigi seems skeptical. “What are you talking about? You attacked us! Only I defended because you only attacked me! Falco had nothing to do with it!”
“Exactly Luigi. He did nothing instead of attacking. You blocked because I attacked you and only you.”
Luigi opens his mouth to argue, but remains silent. He can’t think of anything else to say.
“Well done Mario! Very well done! But you forgot one thing…the real polygon.”
“Nice try, Falco.” Mario begins to yell. “Hey Fox! You can come out now!” Falco seems taken aback, but remains silent. A few moments pass by, and then Fox reveals himself from the shadows. “Well done Mario! I guess you are the real deal! Way to go!” Fox congratulates Mario, leaving Luigi in his shadow. Yet again. “How did you know about that part?”
Mario adjusts his hat. Then says “I didn’t.”
Fox and Falco both yell “WHAT?!”
“I didn’t know. Until you guys told me, just now!” He begins to laugh. The other three just have the sweat drop on the back of their heads. Mario continues. “However, there is one thing I haven’t gotten yet…”
The two animals seem alert. “What do you mean?” asks Fox.
“I mean, the polygon that Luigi saw in that locked room. That’s what I don’t have yet.”
Fox looks over to Luigi. “What room?”
They follow Luigi into the hallway. Luigi is leading the three of them to the room. “It was right over here. This one here.” He points to a sliding vertical door. Fox laughs. “That’s just my training room. Watch.” He pulls out the same key that Luigi saw, he notices the Fox head on the tip and that the key itself is just a card. He slides it up a control panel near the left side of the door. The panel turns from blue to green, then back to blue. The panel then displays a “WELCOME FOX” message on it. The door opens to show the same room that Falco stopped Luigi in. “Well, come on in!” Fox says to the plumbers. They both simply walk in. They are suddenly flooded by white light.
“WELCOME FOX, HOW MAY I HELP YOU TODAY?”
“Say hello to my training facility. In other words, my Grand Awesome Mechanical Energizer. Or, G.A.M.E. for short. Me and Falco are both really good at this, and on the internet rankings, we both place 1st and 3rd. I’m the 1st. Falco is 3rd. The 2nd, goes by an alias of GAMER in all caps. Just like the name you said told you of us when you first arrived. That’s why we didn’t blast you into oblivion when you first arrived in this area. We thought you might’ve been or somehow knew GAMER and-“
“You misunderstood Fox. Not that GAMER.” Mario interupts. “The GAMER I was talking about, was a voice we both heard that told us we had to fight different characters from different worlds to save the omniverse. In a matter of speaking.”
Fox seems somewhat puzzled. “So, you don’t know this other GAMER? That’s too bad. That was our only reason to keep you alive on this ship. Both Fox and Falco pull out their blasters. “Hey Fox, can I do it now, huh? I’ve been wanting to do this to the green one ever since they got here.”
Fox resumes as if Falco didn’tt even talk. “Now we have a different reason to trust you and keep you alive. This omniverse is apparently in peril, and you know how to save it, so, I’m in.” Falco seems a little upset, but quickly changes his mood. “Count me in too.” He says.
Mario pulls out the old map and notices something. Andross is colored in and revealed on it. It’s in the top right corner. Then it begins to glow a lighter blue than before. “Here we go again!” Mario says.
“Wait, this is how you got here?” asks Fox. Mario nods. Then, the portal opens up again, and then, at that precise moment, Slippy comes in from the bathroom. “Hey guys, some weird readings on the energy radar, I don’t know what…What is happening!?” He runs over to them, but the portal absorbs them and disappears before it can reach them. “Not again. They get to go on an adventure without me. AGAIN!”
End of Star Fox chapter
The group screams as they fall from the sky.
-Blam!-
“Oh…My head…is everyone else alright?”
Luigi is face first in the dirt, Fox is falling then lands perfectly in front of Mario, and Falco is stuck in a tree beside him. Luigi muffled by the dirt, “oh the irony…” Falco, muffled by the leaves, “oh shut up…” Fox looks over to Mario, who is chuckling at Luigi and Falco. When he sees Fox’s gaze, he immediately stops.
“Hey Mario, any idea where we are?”
Mario takes out the map. “Well it says here, next to Andross, I think ‘Pop Star-Dream Land’ or something. I’m not entirely sure…”
Suddenly, Mario sees something falling from the sky. “Hey, what’s that?”
Luigi finally gets his face outt of the ground, and sees the star. “Maybe it’s a falling star?” “It can’t be that obvious idiot!” yells Falco. Fox then hears something. “Hush” he calmly says to the others. Mario responds though. “What is it?” “I said hush” Fox snaps at him. Mario takes a few steps back. Fox looks up in the air at the star. It’s getting larger and larger. It’s coming towards them. No wait, it’s coming right for them! Fox jumps out of the way and prepares for battle. Mario does the same. “Luigi, get ready!” Mario yells. “I’m a bit busy at the moment eating dirt!” He replies. Luigi is still half-stuck in the ground. “Falco! You too!” Fox yells. “Also a little preoccupied!” Falco is struggling to get out of the tree’s tangling branches. The star zooms in on them and crashes into the ground just in front of them. Smoke clouds up their vision of the person or thing. “Wait until you see him move Mario, that’s when we strike!” Mario nods in agreement. As the smoke clears, nothing is visible except the crater and a Starship inside it. Mario lets Fox know with hand signals that he’s going to check it out. Fox nods in agreement. Mario stealthily walks over and looks inside the crater. He looks around very carefully, and heads back over to Fox. It’s all clear. Nothing I can make out. Fox lowers his guard a bit, and yells “Falco!” Falco struggles around a little bit and looks at something on his headgear through the lens. “It says something is nearby! I don’t know what though. It’s energy sig is a new one for me! Be careful!”
Fox looks back over to the crater. He sees something, ad cautiously, walks over to it. Mario and Luigi watch. Fox is next to the crater when Falco falls yelling from th tree. He hits several branches on the way down. Mar and Luigi hush him, and they turn back over to Fox. Falco rushes over to join up with him. They chat a little bit but they are out of earshot for the brothers. Then, A pink ball-shaped creature with wings appears behind Mario, and Luigi behind, behind Mario, yells out “I think I found it!” Mario turns around and the pink ball-like thing stays behind him. “Where is it Luigi?” “It’s right behind you!” Mario turns in complete circles with the ball-like thing staying behind him the entire time. Falco looks back and sees it, and pulls out his blaster and shoots it. It bounces off of Mario’s head and bounces towards Fox and Falco. It hits Falco in the head. It sits up and says “ow! That hurt you stupid bird! What was that for?!”
Fox turns around now and notices it. It’s about the size of a Toad but all pink.
Falco chimes in. “Sorry, I though you were…an evil thing.”
“Seriously?! You thought I was evil?! Where are you guys from?!” It yells at Falco.
Fox takes over. “I am from Andross and the two behind you are from the Mushroom Kingdom. And the bird, as you call him, is from-“
“That’s not important to a talking wad of gum.”
The ball-like creature gets up and screams “GUM?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN GUM?! I AM A STAR WARRIOR THANK YOU!!! AND THE NAME IS KIRBY!”
Falco snickers.
“What is so funny about ‘Kirby’? It’s a good name you know!”
Falco clears his throat. “Sorry.” He turns around and starts glaring at the tree that had him in several chokeholds earlier.
Kirby notices this. “What’s wrong bird-boy?”
“Don’t call me ‘bird-boy’ because my name is Falco. Not bird-boy. Got it?”
“Yeah sure whatever. So, what are you four doing here anyway?”
Mario starts up at this moment. “Well, it’s a bit complicated. Basically, long story short, we are saving the omniverse. Saving several worlds. We are currently recruiting members. I guess. These two came on their own decision. We didn’t invite them though.”
Luigi joins in at this being mentioned. “Yeah, they basically “hitched a ride” as it were!”
Falco grabs Luigi by the collar of his shirt. “Ya wanna say that again? To my face?”
Luigi quickly shakes his head no.
“Well then,” Kirby continues “Allow me to introduce myself properly. I am Kirby, and I am a ‘Star Warrior’. One who races across galaxies and helps to save planets and even entire glaxies at some times. I’ve heard tell of a Star Warrior who doesn’t even leave his home planet! I believe I heard the name Mario or something.”
Everybody except Kirby looks over to Mario, who says “what?”
Kirby notices everybody staring at Mario. “What’s going on here? Did I hurt him when I bounced off of him?”
Mario slowly walks up to Kirby. He kneels down, looks him in the eye, and says, “I’m Mario.”
Kirby blinks. “Wh-what? You-you are Mario?”
Mario nods his head. Everyone stays silent. Kirby approaches Mario, eyeing him suspiciously. He looks him up and down. After inspecting him, Kirby takes a few steps back. He opens his mouth, and inhales Mario! He swallows, taking a Mario hat and releasing Mario. Mario jumps back to the group.
“What the hell was that for?!” Luigi walks up to Mario. “Better yet, how did he do it?”
“I can do that as one of my abilities! It allow me to copy an opponents or an ally’s ability. For example:” Kirby throws his hand out, and releases a fireball exactly like Mario does. “I can now use fireballs! Same with your other basic special abilities. Blasters and other stuff included!”
Fox seems astounded. “That’s absolutely amazing! How did you learn to do that?”
Kirby looks over to Fox. “I was able to do it from birth. I don’t know how I learned it, to be honest. That ability is what turned me into a Star Warrior. Speaking of which, have any of you seen a blue thing kind of like me in shape and size? Most likely wearing a blue cloak, silver knight’s hemlet, and wielding a fire sword?”
The three shake their heads. “No, but he sounds pretty cool though!” yells Luigi. Mario slaps him across the head. “Ow! What was that for?!”
“You moron, obviously, that’s the bad guy of this dimension!”
“Actually…” Everyone turns to Kirby. “He’s not the worst. But he is the only present threat to Dream-Land. That’s the area where you’re at now. My home: Dream-Land. Anyway, the guy’s name is-“
The ground begins to shake. The sky darkens. A huge ship appears over the horizon, heading straight for the five heroes. Kirby’s expression turns very serious. “That’s him! That’s Meta-Knight’s ship, the Halberd!”
The four heroes turn to look at the ship. It’s gigantic in looks, the head of the ship looks like a silver knights helmet, it has four bat-like wings, a huge cannon on the top, and is bigger than the Star Fox and the Castle of Bowser combined!
Kirby’s expression changes again. This time, to anger. “I busted that thing once, and I can do it again! He fixes it, I bust it!” He looks around, sucks up Falco, swallows, releases Falco, and he turns into Wing Kirby. He flies off into the distance towards the Halberd. Mario and Luigi watch as he flies off, Fox watches Falco get pissed, and Falco tries to fly off after him. But, for some reason, he can’t fly. So, when he takes off, he starts to flap, and he faceplants into the dirt. Luigi simply chuckles at the sight of a bird faceplantin into a patch of dirt like a newbie skater. Fox rushes over to see if he is alright, and Mario just watches Kirby head out towards the humongous ship.
“Falco, are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine Fox. But Luigi might not be soon. He’s gonna get such a…hey, what’s up with Mario?”
The three turn to Mario, who’s look has turned a deadly serious. He gets something out from his pocket, and puts it on his hat. It’s a wing cap. He looks over to the others. “If you’re coming, then put these on. The controls come to you naturally.” He tosses three wing caps to them, and they put them on. Falco seems exhilarated, Fox seems unsure, and Luigi is ‘eeing’ with joy. “I can’t believe I finally get to try this baby out! Sweeeet!” Luigi can barely contain his high-pitched voice from excaping with his emotions. Everyone looks at him with puzzlement. “Eh, he’s always wanted to try this out.” Mario says to the Star Fox crew, who both reply with an “ah.”
Luigi can’t wait to take off. He’s jumping in place. “Come on guys! Let’s go already!” Luigi jumps in a rhythm and takes off, arms outstretched. Mario starts to follow, but then turns over to Fox and Falco. “It’s simple. Just jump low once, jump higher after that, then give it your all on the third jump. If you jumped high enough, then you start to fly immedieately. Watch me.” Mario takes several steps back. Then, he jumps once; not very high, jumps again; a bit higher, then a third high jump. He’s starts to fly then and there. “See? It’s that easy!”
Fox and Falco watch as Mario takes off. They look at each other, then Falco gives it a try. He jumps once, twice, then a third time, with wings outstretched. He flies off with the brothers. Hands of Origin part two
“Hey Fox, he was right! It’s very easy! Just triple-jump!” Soon, Fox and Falco are catching up with Mario and Luigi. Then, it is very obvious that Kirby is already at the Halberd. It has already started firing at a small pink ball flying around its wings. Then the cannon on top of it charges up, and fires out an extremely powerful laser at him. It makes contact with Kirby. He starts to lose control of his wings and starts flying straight towards the Mario bros.! He manages to miss Mario, but Luigi isn’t so lucky. A direct head hit sends them both falling to their doom. However, Falco ends up dive-bombing and rescuing Luigi, and Fox helps out Kirby. After Kirby recovers from the shock of the cannon, he thanks Fox and takes off again toward the gigantic ship. This time, he waits up for the four heroes.
Mario starts up a conversation. “Hey Kirby? Who is this Meta-Knight person anyway?”
Kirby doesn’t look back. He doesn’t even respond.
Mario looks back to the others who merely shrug. They seem confused as well.
“Ok, maybe you have a girlfriend or something?” Mario asked a little later on. But again, silence. The Halberd spots them and begins to shoot out lasers and bullets at them. “Maybe this isn’t the best time” says Mario. They begin to dodge incoming artillery. Eventually, they start using elemental weapons. Chunks of Ice and Flamethrowers are being used on them. They continue to dodge.
“Meta-Knight Sir! We have an incoming report from the weapons deck B-3! It’s Kirby Sir! He’s back!”
We are following a Waddle-Doo as he is running towards a Blue Kirby-looking character. “Good.” He says with a heavy accent. “Excellent. He’s right on time. Prepare the troops on board for battle! We are goin to win this time!” The Waddle-Doo salutes him. “Yes Sir! Right away Sir! I’ll tell the bridge to relay your command!” He takes off through the door behind him. Meta-Knight looks out the window to his left. He sees Kirby and four people behind him. “Hmph. Even with a small cavalry, you cannot defeat me this time Star Warrior! Bring on your full power!” Meta-Knight runs toward the door and all we see as he exits is his glowing yellow eyes and his flowing cloak. He slams the door. We look out the window where Meta-Knight was and we see the five heroes flying straight for the Halberd. We zoom in on them through the bullets and other artillery to join back up with them. Kirby is talking to them. We get within earshot to only hear the end of it. “…and that’s why I am rivals with Meta-Knight. That’s also why he wants to take over Dream-Land.”
Mario and Luigi whistle. Fox and Falco seem in shock. Mario looks to Luigi. “Some story huh?”
“Yeah, who would’ve thought that was how it happened?”
“INCOMING!” Kirby yells. Four of them narrowly dodge an incoming laser blast from the main cannon. The same one that shot Kirby down last time. Luigi wasn’t able to dodge in time however. He was hit dead on!
They finally land on the Halberd. Mario looks back and doesn’t see his brother. He looks around him. “Luigi? Luigi?! LUUUUIIIIIIIIGIIIIIIII!!!” (Yes, a Metal Gear reference. I even went as far as to do that…) Fox and Falco look back and see why Mario yelled his brothers’ name. He is nowhere to be seen. But then…
Falco notices something about Fox’s fur. “Hey Fox? How are you doing that with your fur?”
“Huh?” He looks at Fox. He then looks at his fur. It’s standing on end. “I don’t know. Falco! Your feathers are doing it too!”
Falco looks at himself, and sees that they are too. Mario gasps. He starts to laugh loudly. “What’s so funny Mario?” Falco asks.
Mario is tearing up in the eyes. “It’s Luigi! He’s alive!”
“Fox, what is he talking about?” Fox shakes his head. Then, the sky turns a deep blue. Everything around them turns a deep light blue. An incoming Waddle-Dee gets electrocuted slightly and runs away in fear. Falco and Fox seem puzzled. “Hey Kirby?”
“Yeah Fox?”
“How did you shock him when you’re obviously not having power of electricity at the moment?”
“What do you mean? I didn’t do that.”
Mario walks into the front of the group. “HE didn’t…” he says pointing at Kirby. “…But HE did!” He says looking back from where they came. A wing cap flies up and lands right in front of them. It’s fried and glowing blue. Then, Luigi rises up arms stretched out, head bowing down, body straight, towards them from inderneath the ship. “I’ll be back” he says to the four. Fox, Falco, and Kirby seem in awe. Falco screams “HOW THE HELL?!” Luigi then dives down beneath the Halberd. He uses his hands like cannons and blasts any and everything that moves that’s smaller than 4’5” while zooming around the Halberd. He easily takes out the top wings and the main cannon on the top of the Halberd. He then continues over to the bridge and starts to take out the elite soldiers one=by-one. On his way back however, he shoots one which deflects it with a fire sword. It’s wearing a silver helmet and matches the description that of which Kirby had described. He tries to defeat him with blast after blast, but to no avail. He then returns to the group, who three of, seem very impressed. Mario just seems like he’s happy. The other three see him dramatically coming down slowly to land next to them and quickly gather around him. “I saw him! I even tried to defeat him! Meta-Knight!” The three quickly gasp and Kirby pulls Luigi down to eye-level. “WHERE AT!?” He screams in his face. “Up on the bridge! I took out several elite soldiers-I could tell the were elite by their armor and their size-and then I mistook him for one. We fought with blast after blast from me, but deflected every single blast! I came back here to tell you!”
Kirby lets go of Luigi and turns away from the group. He takes a few steps forward for dramatic effect. “I thought so. I hoped not, but he has gotten stronger. He couldn’t ever deflect even an arrow when I last defeaed his ship. That’s why the ship was so easy to take control of. Thanks to Luigi here that is.” Luigi ‘shucks’ and rubs the back of his head. “It was so easy, because he was focusing on his power, not his ship’s. Apparently, I will need help for this battle.” He turns around to face the group again. “So, will you help me?”
They look at each other, then nod in agreement in unison. “Of course we will!” yells out Mario.
“Very good. Let’s be off then! TO THE BRIDGE!”
“YEAH!” Everyone yells in unison again.
So, they valiantly fight through hordes of foes, each more easy than the last, until they reached the Bridge. That’s where the big boys came out to play. Mario took them out one by one. When it came to the plasma wisps, Fox and Falco take them out with their blasters. The others, Kirby took care of. Luigi just stood back watching. Good thing too, because he would need all of his strength for the final battle. Later, up on the bridge before the five arrive…
“Soon. Very soon, I will finally defeat Kirby the Star Warri-“
“MISTER META-KNIGHT SIR!” yells a Waddle-Dee who just came in.
“HOLY SHI-! JEFF! Be careful! Don’t startle me like that! I just about pulled my sword on you! Be more careful!”
“Sorry Sir! But, it’s the troops Sir. Thanks to the ‘Green Thunder’-that’s what the troops are calling him-most of the troops from main weapon deck 3 and after are defeated! We cannot hole them back much longer!”
“No matter. Bring them to me. I will-“
A loud BOOM fills the entire bridge.
Meta-Knight calmly looks over to Jeff, and asks, “What was that?”
Jeff is very terrified now. “It was the reactor I’m afraid Sir!”
“Yes, and wasn’t it YOUR job to guard it?”
Jeff starts to shake. “Y-y-yes S-sir, it w-w-was…”
“And didn’t it just” he turns and explodes in anger and volume “EXPLODE!?”
Jeff yelps and turns for the door. He keeps running until he touches the door handle. His wheezing of fear stops. It’s completely silent. His hand drops suddenly from the door. We see his face of fear and pain as he slowly stoops downward. His knees hit the floor first, then his body, then his head. Then we see Meta-Knights sword in Jeff’s head! Meta-Knight walks over to the now bloody pool of a Waddle-Dee. “Stupid little thing.” He says while he pulls his sword out. “Good thing they’re replaceable!” he laughs maniacally while cleaning his sword.